Life is full of trials. That sounds like a cliché but it is
true. I am a sanguine personality and
usually an upbeat, “the glass is half full” sort of person. Yet, once in a
while, I get hit with the unexpected storm.
Last week, I encountered such a storm. On the eve of my daughter’s graduation from high
school, I had an allergy attack that developed into a serious sinus infection. That
infection was followed by a list of incidents that led to severe damage to my
ears.
Pressure led to breakage, blood pouring from my left ear.
Infection increased. Vertigo set in. Prior to not being able to hear anything, I
began hearing things in my left ear in a different tone than I was hearing from
my right, which means everyone had two voices – sort of like a robot. Every
musical note was heard as two separate notes at the same time. Then the sound just went away. A new sound took its place in the form of
tinnitus. I currently
have seven distinguishable tones ringing loudly
inside my
head at all times. It is torturous.
For a musician, a pilot and a pastor and coach, your ears
are everything. To lose your ability to hear (and walk more than three feet
without drifting into a wall) is vital. The physical pain was intense, but not
as intense as the emotional trauma that was occurring. The urge to
give into
fear was overwhelming.
I began to shut
down, physically and emotionally.
I spent most of the last week and a half in bed. I tried to work on my computer but the
combination of Vicodin, fear, self-pity and that infernal ringing in my head made
those efforts futile. Add to the mix that I am engaged in a continuing
education course which requires a weekly class via conference call – which did
not go well for me either and I ended up measuring life in terms of failure. The glass is NOT half full! In fact, the bottom
of the glass is clearly visible. I
actually hit that moment at the tail end of my class on Tuesday.
I should mention here that my wife has been an absolute
angel through all of this and has been a source of phenomenal strength. One of her greatest gifts is in knowing just what
to say, and more importantly, what NOT to say. She sat quietly with me and held
my arm. In a few moments gently reminded me that God not only gifted me but
created specific purpose in my life. She reminded me that He was aware of not
only my situation, but the solution that would be required to provide for the
fulfillment of that purpose.
I made a decision to shake off the feelings I was harboring
and refocus. Within a couple of minutes,
the phone rang. It was an old friend who
called for the purpose of helping me book a prophetic worship conference in his
area. He explained the need in the area for the unique ministry God has allowed
us to bring, and the importance of the timing of that conference. Fifteen minutes after hanging up the phone
(and feeling MUCH better) my phone alerted me to a text message, which included
an invitation to speak at a men’s conference. It was followed by a facebook
communication inviting me to minister at multiple churches on an upcoming trip
to Dominican Republic and an
hour later, confirmation of yet another conference in Mexico.
As my condition deteriorated, I basically began to avoid the
telephone and the computer. I was working on my travel schedule but even laid
that down in frustration. As I refocused, God met me in a unique way – both in
the timing of scheduling and confirmation of meetings and more so in the
encouragement offered by my wife and by my friend on the phone call.
When adversity strikes, it strikes hard. The worst kind of
adversity finds a way to hit you at the core of all you do.
The fundamental key
in overcoming adversity is to remember who you are and to focus on your faith in
God and on your purpose.
Can I hear the way I need to yet, No, but I am confident
that I will. Can I do what I have to do to fulfill my purpose? Yes. I am as determined
to do so as God is to provide the mechanism to make it possible. The only thing
to stop me is to quit – something I cannot and will not do. There is no victory
without a battle and I am determined to emerge from this victorious.
I AM
OVERCOMING!
