SUCCESS IN YOUR KIDS

 Several months ago, my wife, Cindy and I prompted several conversations with the kids about the desires for their future. This, to solicit their response to training we have offered at Bethesda church, where we serve as apostle and pastor.  We have exuded a great deal of effort in communicating with our congregation how to view one’s life with regard to the future.  The teaching has placed a strong emphasis on the importance of preparing for and building for the future – lest the future comes after you!  There are a number of ministry tools that we employ, including Celebrate Recovery and Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.  We have chosen to incorporate these tools into the training of our young people as well as our adult congregation.

The responses from our kids were very insightful, and served to challenge us to take even greater consideration of some things as we continue to prepare for their future.

1. The future may contain our legacy, but it is their future.  A common mistake in raising a family is the tendency to “pass on the family tradition” to the next generation.  Being raised in ministry, I can show you historical and biblical precedent for this.  It is noble and many traditions, trades, and businesses are passed from one generation to another.  Yet what is missed is that the success of those traditions or business ventures depends almost entirely upon the heart of the one who inherits it.  Too often, a son or daughter takes over the family business, only to drive it into the ground because he or she has no passion or aptitude for it.

2. People have a tendency to be very “picky” about how their legacy is preserved.  In one instance, I know a man who took over the family business, but was completely locked in a stranglehold because his father was determined that the business would remain in its “pure” form – not suffer a change of venue or personality.  Perhaps the sentiment was noble.  “This is how I built it.  This is how it must remain.”  This man remained frustrated as he continued to loyally abide by his father’s wishes.  Unfortunately, sentiment trumped practicality.  Ten years later, the business was outdated and is no longer there.  The man went on to create his own business – one substantially more successful than the previous one, yet even as his father neared death,  there was portrayed a sense of disappointment and failure.  The father could not recognize that the legacy was not in the business, but in the values and wisdom he had imparted to his son.

3. There is a tendency on the part of parents to consider that the actions of their kids point to certain failure. In fact, failure may occur.  It is a part of life.  What is forgotten is that regardless of how we try to protect our kids from failure – they will fail at some level.  Too often, it proves out that the protecting of one’s child from failure is also the preventing of the child’s success. The key is teaching them how to learn from their failures and develop that knowledge into success.  For instance, I know someone who’s father constantly battled him about his extensive obsession with computers, and how that obsession would prevent him from doing anything real.  A few years ago, this individual became a multi-millionaire by selling the software he developed to a major computer corporation.  The money he produced money now funds extensive missionary work.

The key to the success of your kids is found in scriptural principle.  Life and death reside simultaneously in the power of the tongue.  When God created us, He also made us creative.  Our words, actions and deeds, by God’s design affect our future.  Therefore, He knew  that they would and designed us to have an effect on our future   he leads, guides and directs those who listen, but His design established that man would speak to his own future.   A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord guides his steps. (Pr. 16:9)

In this light, Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to train up a child in the way he should go, that when he is old he will not depart form it.  Many misinterpret this to mean “Here is the direction for your life.  Anything else is failure and is not God’s perfect will.”  This is not God’s plan.

“In the way he should go is an English interpretation of the Hebrew words “Derek” (דֶּרֶךְ) and “peh” (פֶּה ).  Derek defines “a course of life with moral character, a direction or journey toward the direction of ”.  Peh means one’s mouth.  Peh actually comes from the Hebrew word “pa-ah” ( פָּאָה )which to break into pieces and scatter.  Consider then, that a child should be trained to develop moral character so as to move forward through his life into the direction declared by his mouth – words spoken and scattered and spread into his future.

It would be like a vinesman trying to force a grapevine to grow like a potato, or for an apple to grow like an onion.  The responsibility of the vinesman is not forcing the grape to grow in the ground, but to recognize what is inside it and prepare the trellis that will allow it to grow as God intended.

Raising a child in the way he should go means imparting to the child through godly counsel, wisdom and knowledge, the information and insight he will need to walk in moral uprightness with the ability to hear from God, and use his gifts, talents resources and passions to produce both in the earthly realm as well as the heavenly realm.

This means that in order to help guide my kids to success, I have to consider the future they feel and see.  I cannot simply help them build toward the future I can see.  If I miss this, the legacy I leave will be “my kids carried on my work.”  It will last at best only one generation if their heart and desire is not for it.  However, by allowing them to succeed in the future birthed in their heart, my legacy is that they are the success.

As we talk with our kids, the picture of their future changes – sometimes daily.  This is expected.  They are young.  Yet, in every idea they present, there is consistency which reveals their creative DNA.  They are not of the age to decide the path, yet their consistencies allow us to consider how to prepare them for the eventual path they will take.  For them, it involves artistry and creativity, both physically and emotionally.  So we expose them to the arts.  Artists tend to starve, so we expose them to business so that as they develop their creative skills, they will manage them effectively.  Their gifts and passions could lead them into dedicated full-time ministry in church as in the manner of their parents.  Or, they could enter the world in a different sphere as actors, artists or musicians, and reach a people that would never be open to hearing what I have to say as a pastor.  Their success will be determined by the kingdom fruit they produce in whatever they do.

Ask God to demonstrate your kids to you in a different light.  Ask Him to help you see and discover the future that is waiting to be created in their heart.  Ask Him to show you the best way to lead them to the place of success in that future.  They WILL succeed!

Thanksgiving

One of the great beauties of this day is that it was forged by men and women who put everything on the line to create a better life – not only for themselves but for their children and grandchildren. 

In this day and age, there is a lot of controversy over many of the days that we celebrate.  Christmas is offensive because it celebrates the birth of Christ.  Easter - because we focus on His resurrection.  Men fight against prayer and the Ten Commandments, only to discover that their elimination has added to the chaos that now ensues in our schools and society.

Every decision you make has an outcome – on you, on your children, and on the society that is being formed for your grandchildren.  The early settlers figured this out.  They came to this country looking for a better life.  They made numerous mistakes along the way.  They initially tried to establish their settlements as “common property” wherein everyone was laboring for a common fund and each person would receive an equal share of what was grown.  They soon discovered that such a life – later known as socialism – produced an acute lack of effort on the part of many.  The mindset developed among many that curtailed the incentive to produce their best.  Men could not embrace the idea that they must work for others who would not work as diligently for themselves.

Something had to be done.  Property was divided and men began to practice trade.  It changed the game for the early settlers.  They labored with far greater diligence because they were now set to provide for not only themselves, but for their future generations.

Future generations.  That was the key.  Our forefathers built everything they did with a [picture of the future in mind.  It is a Biblical principle.  “This will be to your children, to your children’s children and to their children.”  The bible often referenced to the third and fourth generation.

It also taught the benefits of apprenticeship.  Parents taught their children early and help to launch them into adulthood and into commerce or trade early.  It insured that their children (now adults) could have their best opportunity to produce when they were at the peak of their adult strength.  It insured that their adult children would have ample opportunity through their labor to provide for the later seasons in their own life as well as an inheritance for their children.  And it afforded the greatest opportunity for a proper work ethic to be passed down through the generations.

When one is unable to launch in season his hopes are “put off” until later seasons.  In short, his hopes are deferred.  The Bible teaches that hope deferred makes the heart sick.  The delay created in launching the next generation in proper season makes for a sick hearts.  It damages the ability to move ahead with the greatest strength.  It hinders relationships.  It colors the past and damages the future.

Today, as I consider my own ancestry, I am thankful that there was a determination on the part of my forefathers to challenge their sons.  I am thankful that a large part of their vision was to make certain that the future generations would launch in season.  I am thankful that they understood what God demonstrated in His word regarding future generations.  And I am thankful for the great personal sacrifice they made to offer the best possible future for my life.

t 

Succession and Legacy

Success requires having the ability to understand the process of succession.  Meaning, no one lives forever; or for that matter, functions well forever.  Great race car drivers eventually hand the car to someone younger and with quicker reflexes.  Businesses that flourish for years often reach decline and failure because of the leaders inability to release what they have built into the hand of the next generation.  The next generation brings new strength and insight to the table.  It brings a “hands on” understanding of the current generation of consumers or congregants.

Living in a pastor’s home, I understand the sentiment of a lot of pastors – a sentiment held by one of the most powerfully anointed ministers on the planet – my grandfather.  His wish was to labor as a pastor and die preaching in the pulpit, after being completely poured out.  My dad wisely communicated that he should reconsider a different way to finish, because while it sounds heroic, it would probably bring great damage to those sitting in the congregation in that moment.

Pastors and many “mom and pop” entrepreneurs carry the mindset that to quit is to give up.  They have no plan for a future and no thought as to what will happen to the work they have accomplished once they are gone.

The Bible invests a great deal of communication about generational succession.  God identifies Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  His eye focused on the generations of the seed of Abraham and the development of His children, Israel.  You can see the dangers of ignoring proper succession in the lives of Eli and his sons, Samuel, the judge, who did not properly prepare and release his sons, Saul, who was chosen because of the people being frustrated with Samuel’s situation and David, who repeated much of the shortcomings of Samuel in his own children.

Failure to plan for succession is incredibly detrimental to the generation of sons and daughters who follow you and also to the work that you may have spent a lifetime working to build.  Pass the baton too late and the generation lives their entire life out of season.  The energy and drive they could bring to the work is diminished before it is started.  Instead of increase, it begins to decline, or worse "stalemates" and becomes an entity that exists, but remains powerless.  God's desire is advancement of the kingdom and that requires succession. If you pay attention to God’s plan, you will see His plan always taking into consideration the generations to come.  “This will be to your children, their children and and so on…”

In planning anything, you should take into consideration the third generation.  Every action you take, everything you build, everything you invest of your life and into your destiny should consider the generations beyond you…to the third power.  It is the way you build legacy, which is also a godly principle.

I will blog more on this and in much greater detail.  For now, I just want to invoke some thoughts about your future and your destiny. 

What will you do when you are no longer doing what you do right now?

What will become of the work you are dong?

What are you building that will honesty be able to be carried by the next generation?

What provision have you made which will allow the next generation to operate and function NOW, while they are in their prime?

What consideration have you taken with regard to you future beyond what you are doing right now so that you will be able to release what you are doing at the right time, rather than just the “necessary” time.  (A lot of people would make a change now if they could afford to.)

Destiny does not just occur.  Legacy does not simply “happen”.  Both are something that God placed in your life as your responsibility.  They become what you make them through His wisdom and the power of His Holy Spirit.

Consider what you are building.  Consider what you are creating for the future generations in your life.  It will make the difference in what you really do for the Kingdom!

T

  

Big Things - Little Things

There is an interesting phenomenon in life concerning the size of things.  Once, on a trip to my grandmother's (Mamaw) home in the mountains of North Georgia, I thought about this in a way I had never really considered.  When I was a young child, my father pioneered a mission church in rural Pennsylvania.  He worked diligently to establish that work (which continues to flourish today) as well as worked a second and even a thirds job to provide for his family.  During that season of our lives, we lived in a mobile home.  This was not a modular home like you see today.  This was the seventies and the home we were in was probably close to a decade old at the time.  Needless to say, it was small; probably less than 10 feet wide and not very long.

One of the most favorite things for me during that time was for us to get in our little car, which at that time was a Ford Pinto, and drive 700 miles to Georgia to visit my grandmother.  Her house has two stories with bedrooms upstairs and downstairs.  It rests in a nook in the mountains with a huge hill behind it.  Even now, my children call the place "Mamaw's Mountains."  As a child, this place was larger than life.  It was, to me, a mansion.  As I grew older, we continued to visit.  The familiarity of the sounds and smells of her home were ever present and frankly, taken for granted.

On my most recent trip, my wife was photographing the house and as I looked at her work, I realized this mansion was actually a humble little house on the side of the mountain.  In comparison to today's standards, it isn't very large at all.  I was somewhat surprised at this revelation as I looked at this familiar home which is still one of my favorite places in the entire world.  I began to reflect on what made this place so large in my mind.  Was it that I was living in a little tiny trailer?  Not likely.  My father soon moved us into a huge farmhouse.  Was it that I was only three or four feet tall?  As one grows, ones perspective does change.  Still, there is something elusive because even now, looking at this property, once I am away, it still looms larger than life. 

Perhaps the answer can be found by way of relationship.  There are two aspects of relationship: the way we relate to people and the way we relate to things.  In my mind, I always related to this home as a large and very special place.  Although in my mind I knew that it was family that made it special, I never let go of how I related to the house as an object.  What really made it larger than life is the warmth, love and care that resides in that house.  It is at least a century old.  It was a miner's shack when Papaw bought it in the forties.  He worked hard on it and made many improvements to make it as nice as possible for his family.  In the final months of his life, he labored through pain to complete an addition and that ever valuable closet space; bound and determined to make certain that the house would stand long and provide comfort and shelter for Mamaw.

The stories that surround that house are long and colorful.  It was where all the boys in the neighborhood came for a haircut.  It was where all the children came to play.  The admission price into the house was a commitment to eat until you could barely get up from the table.  There is a garden that to this day produces the sweetest onions, tomatoes and corn that have ever grown.  In my own childhood, Mamaw's mountain was a theme park that could rival anything in Florida.  I sat for hours in Papaw's truck under the old tree and in my mind, drove all over the country.  We would sit on the porch with friends and play music and sing.  We ate barbeque and homemade ice cream.  And we would cry when we left.  These are the things that made that house seem so large.  Life was not simply lived.  Life was experienced!

In today's world, people seem to look at the material things they have to measure the size of life.  They also look at the emotional things that occur to measure the size of life.  In reality, a lot of people get confused about what is really big and what is really little.  They place great importance on things that in the long run will have little permanent effect on life.  They will also dismiss the little things that are created to mean so much - things like time spent playing ball or reading with your children.  Or, time spent around the family table.  A night in the living room with the television turned off is a nearly unheard of thing in this day and time. 

All of this adds up to people having confused priorities.  Little things become huge and become giant rips in the fabric of relationship.  Things that are hugely important go forgotten and the blessing that comes with them is lost - often for eternity.

As you ponder these thought this week, take time to consider the focus of your life.  What are the big things?  What are the little things?  Are you trying so hard to accumulate more that you sacrifice relationship with family and with God to accomplish it?  Are you prioritizing your relationship with God and with your family?  Are your actions today creating the memories that will encourage your children tomorrow?  Are the little things that feed legacy being overwhelmed by the big things that feed today?  Ask God to show you His perspective on your priorities.  Ask Him to reveal His desire for you and your family.  Ask Him to show you the real difference between the big things and the little things.

Congressman Jack Kingston

Today, I had the opportunity to attend a forum where Congressman Jack Kingston (R-GA) addressed some of the issues our community - civilian and military - are facing.  There has been quite a bit of upheaval in our community with regard to the expansion of Fort Stewart and the promised addition of a brigade - a promise which did not come to pass.  Congressman Kingston has led the charge in "righting this wrong".  He has been a great source of strength and encouragement to our community's citizens and leaders.  If you know his record, you know he has championed conservative values in and throughout our government.


I had the privilege of meeting the congressman personally a couple of years ago, during our city's race to elect a mayor.  Jack accompanied one of the candidates to a gathering I hosted and spent a great deal of time answering questions posed by some of my friends.  It was then that I became impressed with him, because he did not strive to give the "right" answers, as many politicians tend to do.  He did not "spin" the facts to cast them in a better light.  He was straightforward about our situation and very candid in his communication about the pro and cons of all that we are facing, and also the options he believed would best serve our community.  I experienced that same sense of character in today's forum.  

Growing up in Maryland, and living in Annapolis, the State's capital, I lived a short distance from Washington  D.C. and had many opportunities to hear and even be around various political leaders.  Throughout the forum and also afterward in more personal conversation, I found his candor very refreshing.  He did not make everything better.  He did not promise a perfect solution.  But, he left me with a very real sense that someone with the ability to do something was on the job and truly cares - that he was honestly committed to the process of repairing the economic damage that has been wrought upon our city.  

I believe that the greatest teachers are not the ones who give you the most information about something, but the ones who are able to stir in you a passion to become a part of something as they teach.  (I will write about this in detail another time)  Add to that, the lesson my father taught me early on that you cannot be in a situation and remain neutral.  You are either part of the problem or a part of the solution.  In the meeting today, Congressman Kingston made me feel as though I am part of the solution. He managed to draw me into the process.  Whether he realizes it or not, he became a teacher for me today.


I have a renewed passion to be a part of the fight and to see our city and our military base move forward.  I am encouraged to know that the fight continues and that victory can be achieved.  I have respected and liked Congressman Kingston from the day that I met him.   But today, I feel a great sense of pride that he is our congressman and I am thankful for his service.


I encourage you to learn more about the people who represent you.  They need your prayer and they need your support - not simply in the polls but in the actions of your life as you work and live in your community.  Get to know them.  Learn their values and beliefs.  And, let them know you know - in so doing, you take the first steps in becoming a part of the solution to some of the things we are facing in the nation.

God bless you.


t

The Red Truck

There is a truck that has been in the family for years.

It has been used as a unique ministry tool both for my dad 

and for me.

Thought I might share an insight with you

about it.

Hope you enjoy it. 

How You Love Yourself

Yeah, I know.  Dangerous title.  If you are a spiritually minded person, you are probably okay with it.  If you are religious, I may have just offended you (sorry.).  If you are not spiritually minded, your mind probably just went to some archived Will Ferrell Saturday Might Live skit.  Relax.  It will be okay.

The Apostle Paul instructed the believers in Galatia that they should love their neighbor as themselves.  Actually, that command is reiterated throughout the Bible.  But how do we do that?  What does it mean to 'love yourself'?

In our Wednesday night IMPACT service, I shared on this.  Loving yourself does not mean indulging yourself.  A parent who indulges their child by giving in to their every whim and momentary desire is not demonstrating love.  We struggle hard to empower our kids without becoming enablers.  I believe it was Warren Buffet under-girded that sentiment when he instructed us to (paraphrased) "leave enough to your children for them be able to to do something but never enough for them to be able to do nothing."  Many have extended family members...siblings...cousins...etc. who they have "bailed out" of situations, only to watch in frustration as that family member immediately dives into another situation.

This to say, when we love someone, the last thing we want to do is give in to everything they want.  It isn't healthy.  It isn't really love.

In the Gospels, just before the instruction to love your neighbor as yourself came the instruction to love God with all your heart mind and soul.  It was the pattern for demonstrating love.  It covered everything - spiritually, emotionally and physically.  If you only love with a part of that mix - it isn't a true demonstration of love.

A husband can show his wife physical affection, but if he tunes her out emotionally, he does not give her total love.  She can say she loves him, but if she continually reaches back in her mind or her actions toward another, she isn't complete in her love to him.  In short, you cannot pick and choose how you love God or anyone else.  He actually designed love to be perfected by a righteous and whole lifestyle - each part of you working in harmony.

So how do you love yourself?  It involves the proper caring for yourself - spiritually, emotionally and physically.  If you cater to indulgences in any of these areas, do are not positioning yourself in real love toward anyone - especially yourself.  Physical vices bring harm to the body.  Improper relationships tear at your emotions and of those around you. Lack of spiritual maintenance leads to spiritual weakness and failure.  To love yourself means to guard each part of you.  Proverbs 4:23 says, "Guard your heart with all diligence, for from, it flows every issue of life."


My A. W. Tozer reading brought me across a checklist for this self evaluation.  You can learn a lot by considering:

• What you want most
• What you think about most
• How you use money
• How you spend your leisure time
• The company you enjoy (not simply 'keep', but enjoy)
• Whom and what you admire (the belief system of your heroes will affect your beliefs)
• What you laugh at

Measure these things and they will begin to paint a picture of how you care for yourself -how you love yourself - and ultimately how you love God and others.

have a great day!