Dominican Republic Trip - Last Day

Today is Wednesday.  The MISSION POSSIBLE team has finished their work and it is time to play a little.  Today, after taking a few moments to acquire a well-deserved rest, they will board the bus and head to the beach.

Yesterday, we traveled to another remote village.  It was probably the poorest area we have encountered.  We ministered to children at another school and also carried supplies to them.  Taking supplies to the last school proved to be a great blessing, so the team pooled their resources and made a purchase of supplies for this second school.  The trips to the school have proven to be a great experience.  The children and school leaders were able to feel the love of God and be encouraged.  The team was also able to feel God’s love and offer encouragement and hope to people who have little to nothing

Everyone has found the trip to be a learning experience.  Regardless of how prepared you think you are for a trip such as this, once you hit the field, you discover there is no way to truly prepare for it.  In any situation, you encounter the unexpected, but when you are in such a place, there is no way to consider what the unexpected will be.  There re just elements that one’s mind cannot fathom.  It has truly been a walk of faith.

We also went to a nursing home in a nearby city.  Again, with a team offering, we purchased diapers, toilet tissue, bleach, and food supplies for this home.  IT was a beautiful place and in some ways, nicer than the convalescent homes we have in the states.  A nun who is very dedicated and proficient administrated it.  We sang and danced with the residents.  We prayed with them and basically just loved on them for two hours.  One 86-year-old man who has been in a wheel chair for 76 years, challenged me to a wheelchair race.  He won both heats and was overjoyed that his record is untarnished.  There was another, who sang a beautiful song to honor our visit.

One of the residents was a bright-eyed, feisty woman of 111 years of age.  I thought that was amazing.  Then I met Juan.  He did not want to open his eyes because he was starting his siesta but he spoke with me and prayed with me.  His mind was very sharp.  He is 120 years old.

Finally, we ministered again at Templo de Spiritu Sanctu in San Pedro…this, after ministering to the local pastors yesterday.  The message we bring is very new to them and they are looking for change. AS a result, they have opened their doors to us.  I have ministered on television in two cities and leave this morning to minster on an international broadcast.  Last night, as I ministered to the adult congregation, Anton Green took the youth into another area and ministered to them on creativity in worship.  His impact was very strong.  

There is so much to tell and so little time for you to read…suffice to say this has been an awesome experience and one the team hopes to repeat.  Pray for us as we travel home.  We will see you soon.

Blessings.

T

Live from Dominican Republic - MISSION POSSIBLE update

Today is Monday.  The MISSION POSSIBLE team has been very busy.  Over the weekend, we traveled to a remote village of Haitian refugees to an orphanage.  We had the opportunity to minster to the children about the love of Jesus.  We encountered a young woman who had adopted a small boy who nearly died as a result of a flood.  I was especially moved as she told her story and I considered that a woman who had lost everything and had nothing was willing to embrace the responsibility of becoming a mother to this boy.

After ministering in the orphanage, the team spread throughout the village and visited the homes of the people.  We were asked by the people to pray for God’s blessing over their homes for their marriages and for the future of their children.   These refugees migrated to the DR after losing everything in the Haitian earthquake.  They have nothing and are living in little more than shelters, yet the biggest concern they have and the prayer they requested is the same as the concern that people have in the U.S.  It proved to demonstrate that the enemy understands the power of family and that there is a consistent attack on the family unit.

We have ministered in three churches.  The first was Zion A.M.E. in San Pedro on Saturday.  On Sunday morning, the team ministered to the children at the Iglesia Circulo de Oracion, or the Circle of Prayer Church.  Sunday afternoon, I had the privilege of joining a pastor in a televised broadcast in San Pedro.  Then, Sunday evening, we ministered at the Templo de Spiritus Sanctu. The Temple of the Holy Spirit.

This last church is very special to us.  The pastor and the people there have touched our hearts.  Their mission and purpose is very similar to the one we demonstrate At Bethesda Church and I believe that there has been established a relationship with these people that will be long standing and productive for the kingdom.

For the fun stuff - there’s always fun stuff – we took a little time to see San Pedro.  We went a short distance along the coast and just observed the cultural differences.  The ladies have fallen in love with “JAMBO” – San Pedro’s version of Wal-Mart.  We have enjoyed the local cuisine – empanadas de jamon y queso (ham and cheese), and also empanadas de pollo y queso (chicken and cheese).  Last night we ate in a restaurant and I thought Ms. Eva would simply rapture as she located her favorite – Goat – on the menu!  Adding to the fun stuff, Elder Reed has joined the dance team and is pretty good!  I cannot wait for Bethesda to see that.

Finally, I cannot fully express my thanks and respect for the COI team who is hosting us.  Elson, the leader is an incredible organizer and through his efforts, this journey has been very productive and successful.  His team, Diana, Efrain, Harolyn, Frederico, Luis, and Carman are a true blessing.  They are a testimony to MaryAlice and the entire COI network.

We are leaving now to o to a school in the city.  Please continue to pray for us.  More later.

T

Expecting the Unexpected - Live from the Dominican Republic

This week I have the privilege of escorting MISSION POSSIBLE – Bethesda’s new short-term missions group into the Dominican Republic.  The group is led by one of our elder teams, Glenn and Charm Reed.  I am thankful for their dedication and the leadership they demonstrated in getting the team through the first part of the journey.

I am also excited about the encounters we have had and the new friends we have already made.  I believe that God sent us here to make a difference. 

That sounds like a “blanket” statement.  

Of course if you are going to go through the expense and effort of traveling to another land on a mission, you are expected to make a difference.  What I am referring to though is the immediate development of friendship and continuity we found with the people here.  I feel very at home with the people in this place –as though we have already been connected for a long time.  It is something that I consider to be very special and a great honor.  I cannot wait to see what the next week will bring.

I have been reading about “synchronicity”. Without going into detail, there is something that occurs when you are willing to release yourself in obedience to God, that seems to place you in the right place at the right time with the right people.  This action creates an environment wherein you can do things that under everyday circumstances might not have been possible.  I like to call it “divine appointment.

I believe that this trip has already proven to be full of divine appointments.  There were two other mission teams on the airplane to Santo Domingo, traveling for much the same purpose as us, but in different places around the country.  I sat flanked between two different long-term missionaries, who did not know each other but were from the same city in South Carolina.  They are also laboring in the DR.

We even encountered a popular rock band from the 70’s, who were in the airport waiting to catch the same plane as us for the first leg of their journey.  They do not show any great indication of sharing our beliefs – and actually joked about being perceived as our “opposition”, yet in conversation, 

                                    they demonstrated genuine interest and even perhaps a little excitement 

                                                                   that our team was coming to reach out to “our fellow man”.  They offered us well wishes, safe travel, and great success on our journey.  More surprising, they talked openly with others as we stood in the airport line about the work we were setting out to do.  I found it unexpected and encouraging.

That is a great combination.  On such journeys, you anticipate the unexpected.  You expect it.  You also expect that your efforts with be very encouraging and faith building.  But the thing that was cool was that in expecting the unexpected – I never expected to find encouragement where I found it.

For me, it has kind of changed the game a little bit.  I came here expecting to connect with great people doing great things.  I came “expecting the unexpected”.  I also discovered today that I had a pre-conceived notion about what the unexpected would be.  That has changed now.  We are here for a Kairos moment – a super-naturally charged happening. But I am not going to limit myself to find the joy in the “expected” areas.  I think that as we travel, we will encounter hidden joys that will add in great measure to what we accomplish here.

I look forward to seeing what comes tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.  God willing and wireless connection holding out, I will share with you as we journey.  Until then, expect the unexpected.

The Best Mother in the World

Twenty years (and eighteen days ago) I married the most beautiful girl in the world.  Sorry guys.  I got her.  When we married, I got a lot more than I bargained for – meaning, there were many aspects of life that I simply did not consider during those first months and years.

This morning I woke up early.  I didn’t get up. I just laid there in the bed looking at Cindy as she slept, and I was captivated at how beautiful she still is.  And it’s not just about her looks.  Today on this Mother’s Day Sunday, she is delivering the message to our congregation.  She prepared that (two part – two Sunday ) message this week, while I was traveling.  She prepared it amidst getting the kids up and off to school, then having them underfoot the last two days of the week because they were off.  She prepared it while tending to administrative matters, both for the church and for our home.  The house was clean.  The children were fed.  She even managed to oversee the weekly “cleansing of the turtle habitat” – a nasty little time consuming job.

Like most people, there are days when she confides that she feels off balance.  Yet, I am amazed at her ability to balance the world (especially in light of the fact that she is married to me!).

As I watched her sleep, I pondered all that she has accomplished in her life.  She “nudged” me through school (Ask MY mom what that is all about) while earning a doctorate in pastoral counseling and then a PH. D in clinical counseling.  She embraced that changed that occurred in our life as we made the transition from itinerant ministry to pastoring.  She became an effective pastor and leader of people.  She even managed to find time for a hobby and became an accomplished photographer.  AND, she is a mother to four children.

That’s the part that is amazing to me.  Most men become completely unspooled at having to deal with one hour of tending to their kids.  For them, taking a turn with the kids is “baby-sitting” and it involves their world grinding to a halt because they cannot function with kids underfoot.  For the record, “baby-sitting” is something you do for other people’s kids.  If their yours, it’s called parenting.   

A mother to four children.  As Cindy laid there in peaceful slumber, I remember days that were not so peaceful for her.  The day she discovered that she was pregnant with our first daughter, Heather, was one of those.  Such a discovery is epic, and cause for celebration, but for Cindy, it brought grave concern that she could not handle being a good mother to this new daughter.  She was afraid that there would not be enough love, or patience, or compassion to do the job.  She spent a lot of time in prayer and meditation.  She also wrote out her thoughts and feelings.  Yet, when the moment arrived and Heather saw daylight for the first time, she found herself in the arms of the most loving of mothers.

Cindy has “mothered” our children through great adversity.  Our travel schedule for ministry kept us on the road, 48 weeks a year.  This required her to home school them in their early years.  One of our children is bi-polar, which creates an entirely different set of mothering skills.  And she had me.  Ask any woman and she will tell you that mothering skills are required when dealing with the man in your life.  I disagree, but she is the one with two doctors’ degrees.

All of this to say that the thing she was most afraid of – being a mother – is exactly the thing that she is greatest at.  It is also the thing that has made her what she is today.  Her role as a mother has defined every other aspect of what she does in this world.  As a counselor, she offers practical wisdom, as a mother should for her children.  As a pastor, she nurtures the flock – a skill particularly suited for a mother.  Even her photography demonstrates motherhood, because it usually involves her children, either behind or in front of the camera.

She recently said, that the notion that a woman could aspire to be a “Proverbs 31” woman feels ridiculous and unattainable to women.  (for reference, find a Bible and read Proverbs 31)  For me, I say, it is not ridiculous, nor is it unattainable.  Cindy embodies it.  Is she perfect? No.  But does she have to be? No.  She does live her life with excellence.  And, she expects life to produce excellence around her.  That is the mindset of the Proverbs 31 woman. 

As I look at my wife, lying next to me, I am thankful that I married the most wonderful mother in the world. 

Happy Mother’s Day

Were You There

Life Happens in Decades

Life happens in decades.  I have taught it for years.  I did not invent the concept, 

but I have lived long enough to recognize its truth.

This week, my wife and I celebrate our 

20^th wedding anniversary. 

This milestone has proven to be a great place to pause and reflect on the life that we have shared.  I have spent a great deal of time contemplating all that our life has enjoyed and endured.  Such contemplation has served to under-gird the thought that life is full of blessing – even in the midst of trial.

I think about the start of our life together, and the obstacles that we faced.  

 In the beginning, there were some in our lives who loved us very much, who were determined that should we marry, our marriage would be full of trouble and that it would most likely meet with drastic and disastrous conclusion.  The nay-sayers, while few, were often the loudest sound in the room.  It was often very difficult to think or reason beyond the opposition that ensued.  Yet, we did.  Both of us were determined in our heart that our marriage was not simply something that we desired, but something that God was orchestrating.  

 There was a plan for each of us, but more importantly, there was a plan or both of us together… 

and it would take the two of us being one to fulfill that purpose. 

In entering that marriage, we considered what we would accomplish in ten years.  

Then, we did it.  We married and like any marriage, found that not everything was easy.  In fact, marriage is hard…particularly when you are determined to do more than survive.

A lot happened in that first decade.  We learned early on that we had to be (meaning, “I” had to be) extremely careful in our spending…to live within our means.  That lesson allowed us to create forward momentum in caring for our family, and our home.   

Patience was a requirement.   

You cannot have everything you want, and certainly right now.  But contentment taught us what we really wanted rather than what we thought we wanted.

In the first decade, we were blessed with four children.  Yep, Cindy was a baby factory.  Those early childhood years seemed as though they would never end.  Nights were sometimes endless.  The money thing took on a whole new dynamic.  The romance of being together took on a new flavor.  The time for Cindy and I to share together began to require invention and great creativity.  Living within your means with four small children meant they were always within arms reach.  The house wasn’t that big.

In that first decade, we became very solid about the work God placed into our hands.  We did not go the traditional route of schooling, where you finish high school and go to college, then figure our how to make it apply. We launched head long into what we believed God called us to do, then tailored our education to accommodate what we were building.  I am not touting that as the best method, but it proved practical and worked well for us.  I am especially proud of Cindy, who managed to run the accounting side of our ministry, birth, raise, and home-school four kids, and earn the first of two doctorates.  

If anyone asks…I married UP!

Fast forward to the next decade.  The children were growing.  The home-school continued.  We traveled and ministered all around the United States.  I used to joke that my kids were out of warranty early.  Yet God had begun dealing with our hearts about the decade in front of us.  Over the first the years of the second decade, He turned our hearts to a different realm of ministry.  Travel gave way to being home.  Itinerant ministry shifted into pastoral ministry.  Home-schooling shifted into going to school.  The house was traded for a bigger house.  We continued our education.  Cindy earned her second degree - a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. The family grew.  Life grew. And, with it, the joys and pains grew…as did our faith in God and in one another.

The life that seemed to move at a snail’s pace now juggernaut’s down a timeline in a blur.   The kid’s I taught to ride bikes are now starting to drive cars.  

Girl’s don’t have “cooties” and boys aren’t “GROSS!”  

 Money took on yet a different dynamic, because the economy of our second decade is different than the economy of the first.  

 Funny, the money struggles that we faced which kept us “tethered” have proven to be the lessons that have kept us 

floating this time around. 

Hmmmm.  

 The time Cindy and I share together requires even MORE creativity and invention, because now the kids KNOW…and let’s just leave it at that!

As I stated in the beginning, life happens in decades.  It is one of the most important things ever taught to me and one of the few lessons I can say I held to throughout my life.  I could not draw a picture of everything I wanted to see accomplished within a decade.  However, I can say that I was able to frame a picture of many things I wanted to happen in that decade.  Having that picture gave us something to shoot for.  It provided a destination and with it a determination to “get there”.   

Where there is no vision, people perish.   

This has proven to be true in our lives, and as I look over the past two decades, I am thankful that much of what we set out to accomplish, we have accomplished.  Some thing are not done.  yet they are part of the master plan and will be fabricated 

into the next decade.  Such is the beauty of growth.

What does the next decade hold?  Kids could get married and maybe even make us grandparents ( it better be in that order – lol ) College graduations? There are certainly some areas of ministry that God is leading us into, which have not been tapped yet.  All of it will eventually require a plan, but in this moment, it requires a dream.  All that we are called to accomplish and who we are called to be is right in front of us.  We cannot be small in our thinking.  We cannot be afraid.  Just as it was in the beginning, we cannot yield to the “saner, safer” voices who are intent on keeping us nicely anchored in the harbor.

“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are for.” 

                                                                                                         Grace Hopper -  

The next decade will see sunny days, and squalls.  There will be joy.  There will probably be pain.  Most certainly there will be trials, because every great accomplishment occurs with trial.  The next decade will NOT be easy, but it WILL be great!

What Is It Going To Take To Change My Life?

I can’t take it anymore!  I don’t want to live this way! 

What is it going to take to change my life?  

These are statements I hear all the time from people.  Life can be frustrating.  Life in these times can be particularly frustrating.  There is a phrase that has been true for as long as time.  In recent times, it has become a “buzz phrase” if there is such a thing.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  If you want your life to change, you have to evaluate each aspect of it and determine what are the anchors that are preventing true change from occurring.  Some things need to be reprioritized.  Others need to be cut off completely.  Too often, our passions and desires cloud the issues and make it difficult to know which is which.

In my own life, I was anchored between two conflicts.  One the one hand, I am compassionate to a fault. 

       I am the typical “Take in the stray three-legged dog” guy.  

I have a heart for people and want to see them succeed – at any cost.   Unfortunately, that cost has often proven to be one that I am willing to pay more than being the price that the one I am helping is willing to pay.  That is a dangerous and expensive problem.  As a minister raised in a minister’s home, I can attest that a curse of ministry is the tendency to pay that price at the expense of one’s own family.

Or, family itself can be the problem.  This weekend a friend of mine jokingly (but pointedly) made the statement, “If you can effectively overcome the demands and judgment of family, you can easily handle any demon in hell.”  For some, I would have to admit there is probably a truth in that.  After all, I have helped a lot of people wade through family situations, and when selfishness is involved, 

the rules that will keep family close are the 

same ones that allow for the greatest damage.  

In any case, my compassion for people has often lead me to sacrifice beyond what is reasonable or even righteous.  I become an enabler rather than an agent of empowerment.  This conflicts with the forward momentum in my own life and success.

The second conflict occurs when in helping such a person I get to the place where enough is enough.  

For me, the flip side of compassion is cynicism.

It is the by-product of helping those who insist on being enabled rather than empowered.  I have a sanguine personality.  If you have studied personality traits, you know this means that I am fun loving, energetic, engaging, trusting and optimistic…and an extremist.  These are traits that, tied to compassion, make it possible for me to keep paying the aforementioned price that too often proves costly and ineffective.  For me to stop paying that price is always an extreme decision. 

My protection device seems to be the embracing of cynicism.  Because I believe that there HAS to be a way for it to work, when I come to the reality that for whatever reason it cannot or will not, I tend to go from being extremely positive to extremely negative.  The willingness of others to live in failure somehow becomes MY failure.  What did I do or NOT do that prevented a win here?  Making this break fuels cynicism and turns me into someone that I have no desire to be.  I go from being extremely positive to EXTREMELY NEGATIVE, which is dangerous for a sanguine. Because we are extreme, when we get negative, we get REALLY negative!  Because we are outspoken and usually the loudest voice in the room, we can really

My greatest conflict was found halt between these two extremes.  

How long do I fight for the win for someone who needs change but is unwilling to change, and how do I let go of the fight to bring that change without taking on the responsibility of what can amount to certain failure if I do?

Then I realized that the anchor holding me back was not the decision of who to prioritize and what fight to fight, but that

the true anchor that was preventing me from success was my inability to see what responsibility is mine and what

responsibility belongs to someone else.  

It is my job to influence.  It is my desire to bring change.  It is not my responsibility to make the decision for them.  Discovering this helped me cut loose the real anchor that was stopping my progress, for me and for my family.  

The professionals call this co-dependency. As long as I was willing to “hang in” until others made the right decision, their wrong decisions prevented me from moving forward.  I could blame their unwillingness to change, but in the end, the inability for me to move was not their fault, but my own.  I was the one responsible for balance in my life.  In short, cutting the anchor was not simply about cutting someone off, but determining what price I was willing to pay (and ask my family to pay) for his or her success.

What is it going to take to change your life?  You must look through the circumstances and situations you are facing and find the TRUE anchors.  Be honest with yourself and deal with them.  Then you can move forward!