When the Morning Meets You

 Timothy Byler, D.R.E.

I love the early morning hours of the day. I always have. As a younger man, I hated to get up in the morning - something that seems to be a bit of a juxtaposition of what I just said. But as a younger man, my venture into the early morning hours did not come from arising early. It came after a long night of being awake. 

I had jobs that were on the night shift. Or, I would be in a studio until after three in the morning. After going full time into a traveling ministry, we often traveled through the night to reach out next destination. To the casual observer, that seemed ill-stewarded or even reckless but in reality, it was our best option. There was far less traffic on the interstate and the majority of those who were driving were professionals. Kids who were awake during the day nestled in and slept as we went cross country in Clifford, our big red van or our RV, which meant fewer stops at unfamiliar places. 

Perhaps my favorite early morning transitions were those shared with my brother, Ronald. We would hang together through all hours of the night, driving, talking about life, God, girls, our future, or sometimes really nothing. Those drives would often become late night, early morning (and in hindsight perhaps somewhat ill-advised) adventures. We once made a spontaneous decision to go sightseeing in Washington D.C. at one thirty in the morning - a decision prompted by looking up and realizing that our random late night drive had led us to the beltway over the Potomac River. In short, we saw the Washington Monument and said, “Let’s have a look.”

My love for our nation’s capital was birthed that night. Seeing the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials, the “Wall”, the Mall, the Capitol and the White House - all strategically lit in the night, and bereft of the traffic and the people that make up the hustle and bustle of the city, brought a quiet contemplation that had otherwise escaped me. Now when I see those things in the light of day, I am reminded of what was birthed in me that night. My perspective was forever changed. 

In retrospect, my love and passion for so many things was ignited in those early morning hours. Back then, I didn’t rise from my bed to greet the morning. I chased it from behind, living through the night to look up and see the sun rising on the horizon. 

Life transitioned and, well… I got older. With that transition came a shift in responsibilities and my late night escapades. Work would finish and shift into family time, then “Cindy time” after the kids went to bed. Our routine and the alarm would start the day with the sun already on the job. 

Then something happened - perhaps a product of age. I found myself waking in the early morning pre-dawn hours. The house is quiet. I am the only one stirring. Even the dogs are still asleep. And, in those early hours, I am again met by the morning. 

It proves still to be the the hour of inspiration - or at least, contemplation which often sets the stage for inspiration. For me it is the time between everything I have to think through, everything I have to do, and even everything I have to be, come together like the workings of a clock. It represents a gap when nothing has to occur - allowing that which is fluttering between mind and spirit to freewheel - and in the process, be perhaps the most available to what God wants to impart into the situation. 

Many religions impose an early morning time of prayer and meditation. Many Christians embrace such practice in a religious discipline. And, there is a benefit in that but that is not the focus here. 

Rather, there is a window in the early morning hours where things begin to awaken. Some plants and trees fold their leaves in the evening to open afresh with the dawn. There are birds and animals who call out in the night but nothing like the sounds of the creatures who greet the sun’s appearance. I have come to realize that it is the same for me - that perhaps God hardwired into us a daily, seasonal “clockworks” that once we locate and activate it, can open inside of us a freshness: a new creativity, a fresh perspective on things we are about to face, a new approach to a problem, a new passion to move forward with opportunity. More importantly, the early morning is a universal season of awakening. All things will awaken - the good and the bad. Once you learn how to navigate the morning…. once you learn how to let God invest into those freewheeling thoughts, that early morning awakening can order your day. The good will overtake all that isn’t good. 

There are many verses in the Bible that attest to all of this. These two come to mind. 

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. - Psalms 143:8 NLT

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. - Psalms 5:3 NLT

David the Psalmist was onto something. He GOT IT! The early morning offers a gift of awareness and awakening. It is a place where peace and perspective can merge with purpose and plan. It is a place where God can meet you without distraction - and can cause you to daily be raised to walk in newness of life. Let the morning meet you. 

T

But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. - Malachi 4:2 NLT

©️2022 - Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

Separating the Meat From the Bones - A Thanksgiving Message

 Timothy Byler, DRE

©️2022 Dr. Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

When I was in the fourth grade, I had a wonderful “grandmotherly” Sunday school teacher. Mary Henderson (affectionately, Aunt Mary) was a practical, common sense lady who had experienced childhood during the Great Depression. She had lived her life in a hands on, “waste not want not”, Amish Mennonite influenced, community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. 

More than one who taught Bible stories and lessons, she worked to teach those principles in a way that her young students could apply those values to every day life, and equally important, how to view life through a lens that would teach us how to find value in ways that others would too often miss. 

One Friday after Thanksgiving, Aunt Mary brought her Sunday School class to her home for the day. After eating lunch together, she made certain that we carefully washed our hands, sat us at the kitchen table, and placed in front of us two turkey carcasses - the remnants of the Thanksgiving feast she had prepared and served the day before. She had placed them into stock pots and boiled them down earlier that morning. 

“Is there anything valuable in these bones?” she asked. 

We discussed and determined that there was no real value. The bones were too soft to give to the dogs. They weren’t good for compost. There was the upside of the “wishbone” but there was only two of those, and those wishes had already been cast. 

Aunt Mary put us to work, telling us to “separate the meat from the bones.” It took us about thirty minutes to pull the pieces apart and separate the remaining morsels of meat from the skin, the fat, and the bones. When we were finished to her satisfaction, she weighed the meat and showed us that we had pulled two pounds of meat from those two carcasses. 

Next, she took us to the stove and opened the two stock pots she had used to boil the carcasses. She had more than a gallon of “stock” - the delicious broth that carried all of the rich flavors of the turkey as it had been roasted, covered with herbs and spices. 

As we were working, Aunt Mary had been working along side of us. She talked about how life had good parts and parts that didn’t look so good. Some parts were like delicious meat and gravy. Others were like a carcass that was only for for buzzards. Life was like those turkeys - full of good things but also seemingly full of greasy, bony things - like the mess that was leftover after the good parts had been taken. And, she taught us that when everything looks like a mess, there is still a lot of good to be found if you were willing to look hard enough to find it. 

She taught us that when we heard things said or even experienced the actions of others, that instead of running from it or casting it aside, we should learn how

to separate the meat from the bones. 

Aunt Mary led us back to the table and we began cutting up vegetables - potatoes, celery, carrots, and onions. She had us separate the vegetables and the meat into equal portions and drop the portions into the two stock pots to make soup. One of the girls said, “Don’t we need to add salt?” Aunt Mary replied, “No sweetie. This soup was seasoned as the turkey was cooking yesterday. Often, our life is seasoned by what we experience. It is why God taught us to be salt and light.”  

We cleaned up from our cooking and spent the afternoon playing games, and when dinnertime came we sat down to some of the best turkey soup we had ever tasted. 

Aunt Mary asked us, “Was there anything valuable found in those bones?” We heartily agreed. 

As we were eating, Aunt Mary went to the counter and came back with two bones - the breast bones. She said, “I have something else to show you. These are special. They cannot be used right away. They need to be cleaned and dried. But, I want to show you how to find even more value.”  She went into the other room and when she came back, she was carrying a little statue of Reindeer and a sleigh. 

She said, “This was made from the bones of last year’s turkey.” As we looked, we recognized that the sleigh was actually the breast bone of the turkey. She had dried it and painted it and made a Christmas decoration from it. 

The moral was simple, and caught by a group of fourth graders. There is good to be found if you are willing to separate and use the good parts and discard the bad. But, there is another moral to be found. 

As an adult, I have boiled down a lot of turkey carcasses. Some of my friends - especially some of my fellow coaches have ribbed (yeah the pun is intended) me about this practice. 

“What a waste of time - digging around for that extra pound of meat.

Your time is more valuable than that.”

“Aren’t you past the stage when you have to be THAT frugal? You’re acting like someone who has to “pick the bones” rather than someone who has achieved your level of success.  You should be thinking LARGER. You are past the time when you need to 

get your hands messy with that stuff.” 

They miss the point of the real hidden value. There’s a flavor to he found in the soup that will not be found any other way. My pulling apart that carcass was at one time in my life, a labor of necessity. Now, it is a labor of joy. It reminds me of where I came from, the lessons I have learned, and that I do this now because I WANT to rather than because I HAVE to. And…when my family sits down to that soup - or gumbo this time - the joy they experience will be seasoned by the love and life lessons I learned at Aunt Mary’s table. 

The time wasn’t wasted. It was time well well spent - for as I separated the meat from the bones today, I wrote this story in my head. And, maybe - just maybe - it will  encourage you the reader to take a little time to look for the meat in the bony areas of your life. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

(Photos of the meat are mine from today. Photos of the sleigh were from the web to show you an example of what Aunt Mary made. Her, my mother, and a number of ladies in the church made these during those years.)

Falling Forward

Timothy Byler, D.R.E.

Spring Forward. Fall Back. You hear it twice a year on the advance and later, the retreat of that wonderful man induced phenomenon - Daylight Savings Time (DST). Set your clocks ahead one hour. Roll your clocks back one hour… unless you live in Arizona or Hawaii. They don’t do it! 

I personally love Daylight Savings Time. The later the lighter, the better  for me. But I prefer longer days and shorter nights. It’s funny how this one little man induced phenomenon can frustrate people. Some get cranky. Others are cynical. For the three days surrounding the time change, people trumpet their opinion of the joy or absurdity of it with the same tenacity reserved for a political election. Oi!!!

And it happens on Sunday - which is often quite revealing. In fact, perhaps the inventors chose to put it on Sunday simply so that those prone to complaining about it would have to go to church, put in their spiritual game face, and get through the first hours of their adjustment with feigned joy or at least repent for their disrupted and now maligned attitude!

Something funny happens though. On ‘Spring Forward’, a lot of people miss the moment and when they realize they are an hour late for church, they skip going. Attendance is often a bit lower on the first Sunday of DST. Ironically, while one would think that the opposite would be true at the advent of ‘Fall Back’, that even if you forget, you would be an hour early for church. They are. Then they realize it and head off to a quick breakfast - which extends because everyone else did the same thing, filling up and slowing down the restaurant and their ‘usually quick’ service and they miss church then too!

But I digress. I have noticed that for many people, ‘Falling Back’ is not simply a time change. When DST was instituted, the purpose was to adjust the time to utilize the linger daylight hours to work in the fields. More time equals more accomplished. DST was scheduled to end once the long hours of fieldwork and harvest was done. You didn’t quit but you could relax a bit, knowing that the harvest was safely shipped to market or stored for the winter months. Like the time, a person could ‘Fall Back’. 

Field work in today’s America affects far fewer people, yet I have noticed a tendency in people to still adopt a ‘Fall back’ attitude when autumn arrives. Depression rises (and there are all sorts of scientific reasons for that), attitudes shift, and momentum wanes for many individuals. I personally believe that some of this is because the mindset was reasonably woven into the DNA of DST. 

What if you intentionally broke the mindset? What if, instead of falling back, you ‘Fall Forward’? I am not suggesting you bombard yourself with work, especially when the holiday season and time for family is in full swing. Rather, I am suggesting that amazing things could be accomplished with three principles given a priority in your life. 

First: “Every season has its benefits.” Moderately cooler temperatures help traction. The best time to drag race is in the fall. When the temperatures are between 58° and 65°, a well prepped track will give the driver an incredible experience in “hooking up” - which means that the tires will “stick” and hold traction as the car launches. Plus the cooler temperatures increase the breathability of the engine and actually produces more horsepower.  Knowing how to capitalize on the cooler seasons can produce effective wins for you. 

Second: “An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest.” If you can intentionally maintain momentum when others are falling back, you can increase your pace simply by keeping your pace as others slow down. You can actually gain traction by picking up what others drop. I have a friend in real estate who does exactly this. Her peers slow down in November and December. She stays aware and picks up far more leads because the competition is waning. I used to experience the same thing in auto sales. Others had slow months and blamed the holidays. I had strong months because I was attentive when others were dormant. 

Third: “Momentum solves 80% of your problems.”  - John Maxwell. Forward movement is always about turning problems into opportunity. Every job solves a problem for someone. Solving problems for others is what increases your value. Momentum is the key in maintaining that. Routine is the key to maintaining momentum. If you can hold fast to a productive routine and maintain your momentum, you can actually accelerate. You can set the stage for what will happen in the coming year. Like the farmers who used the time to repair and sharpen their tools, you can prepare for what you will do in the coming year and when the ol’ clock springs forward!

In short, ‘Falling Forward’ is simply adopting the mentality that the Fall season is also a season of acceleration. It is a time to move forward. Learn to recognize the characteristics of the season and use them to your benefit. Determine to stay in motion, even when others slow down. Use the time to discover what problems you can turn into opportunities for growth and acceleration. Fall FORWARD!

©️2022 - Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved 

The Tyranny of the Urgent

Timothy Byler, DRE

Many years ago, there was a phrase that made its way to the forefront of life in our office: “The Tyranny of the Urgent”. It defines those things that occur at the most inopportune moment, necessary items that magically or tragically appear on your agenda that scream with urgency and demand your immediate attention. These things are notorious for distracting you from your plans. They hijack your time and your focus and do so at the expense of fulfilling purpose. Left unchecked, they can cost you a lot of momentum.

Sometimes they are unavoidable. An emergency arises and you have to drop everything and tend to the matter at hand. Such emergencies can extend into longer more involved circumstances that can force you to add an entirely new layer of responsibility to your already busy life. The tyranny of the urgent is one of the biggest enemies of true productivity. It is a seductive enemy because the demand that it places upon you requires a productivity of its own. The tyranny of the urgent always comes in the form of a problem to be solved - a problem that requires your immediate and undivided attention. It places demands on your ability to think and reason, your gift for inventing solutions, and your skill in leading those around you to bring that solution into fruition. When you are finished, you stop and take a deep breath. You look at those who are involved and say, “Great job everybody. We did it!” And, you walk away, stopping at your phone booth long enough to hang up your tights and your cape. You feel really proud of your prowess in employing your leadership skills with catlike reflexes!

Then you come home and realize everything that you haven’t gotten accomplished. You feel an overwhelming sense of burden because of the unfinished responsibilities that are yours. Your frustration rises as you consider that there “simply aren’t enough hours on the day” and, “There is too much on my plate”. The words of Star Trek’s infamous Dr. McCoy (Bones) begin to ring in your brain: “I’m a doctor! I’m not a magician.” (You can substitute any appropriate skill set over the word ‘magician’. Throughout the series, Bones did.) 

Three of the most essential ingredients to true productivity are focus, perspective, and time management. Focus is vital because distractions are all around you. As my uncle and golfing coach would often remind me, “You have to keep your eye on the ball. If you look up, you miss! Even if you manage to connect with the ball, you’ll miss the fairway and drive it into the rough.” You have to maintain real focus on what you are doing if you want to get it done properly. But equally dangerous to a lack of focus is being so focused on what is immediately in front of you that you do not see the entire picture. THAT is the strategy most used by the tyranny of the urgent! When your intense focus is trained on what is immediate, you lose sight of the bigger picture. That can create a lot of damage. 

A friend of ours was teaching her daughter how to drive. The daughter kept having trouble staying centered in her lane. Her mother remedied this by pointing out that if she glanced at the hood ornament on the car, the stripe on the right side of the road would align with the hood ornament when she was in the center of the road. It worked. The daughter drove, watching the hood ornament and stayed in the center of her lane - and rear ended a car in front her that was stopped to make a left turn! Her focus in addressing an immediate problem distracted her from the much greater responsibility - with somewhat disastrous results. True focus requires seeing the entire picture. Driving and flight instructors call it situational awareness. When the urgent strikes, remember to remain aware of all that is around you.

Focus on the entire picture.

That brings us to perspective. As demonstrated, you can be intently focused but of your perspective is off, that focus can work against you. Consider this: Have you ever been in an argument where half way through your defense you realize you were wrong? It is amazing that when this occurs, people don’t quit arguing. They continue to fight because no one likes to lose! Such arguments occur when you have specific focus without proper perspective. You fight to win the battle without even considering that you are losing the war!

A single mother approached me one day and asked me to apply a little fatherly influence on her teen aged son. She had come home from work to discover that he had altered his hairstyle. It was now green. She was livid and a serious argument had ensued. Attempting to bring her to a broader perspective I asked her, “What is the real problem?” Her reply was simple. “I don’t LIKE it! I’m the mom. My house. My rules!” That’s fair, I thought - and reasonable. But then I asked her, “How are his grades?” “Is he keeping up with his responsibilities around the house?” “Is he hanging out with negative influencers?” “Is he troubled with substance abuse?” All of the answers to these questions presented a positive picture. This was a good kid - a great kid - who just happened to have green hair. He was also wrestling with having an absent father and searching for his own value and identity. I asked him about his hair. It turns out that he was a gamer and the hero in his favorite video game also had green hair. When this kid was facing a struggle, he would consider how his hero would fight to be victorious. The green hair was his own reminder that

he would not fail, but fight to succeed. 

I asked his mother to consider whether she was fighting a battle of principle or a battle of preference. The principle of “I am the mom” was very real but she needed to look “larger”. This kid was living a very principled life - nurtured by his mother’s influence. Regarding just the hair, was there a principle involved or just a preference? Her words came back to her. “I don’t like it.” Preference! She had taught this kid the survival skill of finding positive things to inspire him to fight the battles. She focused on hair dye rather than the personal victory it was representing. The tyranny of the urgent issue was driving her to exchange her positive influence on principles for a win on a battle of preference that was not really worth it. Realizing it, she let it go. (Three months later, he met a girl. The green hair went away!) Interestingly, the mom gave up a day of work trying to solve the issue. Her argument took over the time needed to prepare dinner and she had to take the children out to eat that evening. Money wise, that was a $100 argument! 

Correct focus and proper perspective make you aware of the battles that NEED fighting so that you do not expend energy on battles that are not yours to fight. Someone else’s emergency is not necessarily your emergency. As one of my professors used to say, “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Often, the tyranny of the urgent is something that has fallen off of someone else’s plate and landed on your own. Focus and perspective help determine if that urgency really belongs to you. Sometimes it does and

when that happens, time management is key.

Most people plan their schedules completely - dividing hours, days, and weeks to accomplish their desired goals - from work to rest. They do not schedule time for the “urgent” because they don’t see it coming. It may NOT come. If you do not schedule a window to handle the unexpected, you not only have to reinvest time in tending the urgent, you have to spend time strategizing and rebuilding your schedule it accommodate it. That doubles the time that the urgent steals! If you plan some time for contingencies, you can better manage things when the urgent arises.

The urgent will show up in your life. You do not have to bend to its tyranny! If you stay properly focused, keep a broad perspective, and manage your time well, you can deal with the urgencies without derailing your true productivity. 

©️2022 Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

The Gift of Legacy

Timothy Byler, DRE

What is the greatest gift you can offer your children? What is the greatest desire you have for their future? These are questions that to a parent should be of utmost importance. Whether you are a natural parent, or simply have someone whom you lead as a generational voice, the question should stand in the forefront of your mind.

Legacy is important to me. From the time I was a boy, it was fostered in my mind and in my heart. Now, in this middle phase of life, my vantage point is different. As I write this, my oldest daughter and son-in-love will be wed on this day.  My youngest son and his fiancé are waiting with great anticipation for their own wedding, less than three months away. My youngest daughter is contemplating her future and this morning, is hard at work to prepare the ministry that she will offer this weekend to our local congregation. My eldest son and daughter-in-love have begun their family. Today on social media is a picture of the sonogram of my first grandchild at twenty weeks of life; looking as though he is relaxing in a hammock with his arms behind his head. What is the legacy I can offer to them?

As I consider this question, I think of my parents. For nearly sixty years, they dedicated their lives to ministry and to making a difference in others. 

Knowing you were called to make a difference is one thing. Choosing to do it is another. They not only chose to position themselves to make that difference, they positioned and challenged their children to do so as well. In so doing, they offered us a great gift of legacy. For us, that gift is the gift of faith and of promise. Melded together, it is the gift of purpose.

As a young minister, my father handed me a book, written by Erwin McManus. It was titled, “The Barbarian Way”. To this day, it is one of my favorite inspirations. I read it yearly. I have shared it with many others. The author wrote it to speak of the tribal nature of family. He demonstrates the basics of raw human nature - the way of barbarians. And, he makes clear that one should recognize the tribal tendency of mankind, one can speak the language of trie to lead others to greatness. Barbarians will go all out to conquer. Or, they will use equal strength to move to a cave and protect their own interests. They live wild and untamed. But, if they live unharnessed to vision, their just - wildlings. Left to their own without being led to purpose, the barbarians die out.  Doesn’t end so well with them. 

“Where there is no vision, people perish…” Proverbs 29:18

When my father handed me that book, it came with the instruction. “You have the heart of a Barbarian. Use that! Go ALL OUT!!!” Dad reiterated the words that he spoke over me during my ordination ceremony:

 “I didn’t raise you to exist under my wing. I didn’t raise you to stand under me. I raised you to stand on my shoulders and launch. I want you to go farther than I have ever gone. RUN! Run hard and FAST!

And don’t look back because I am still running behind you.

Don’t you DARE let me catch up with you!”

THAT is the gift of legacy! And, as I consider his words, I consider his current situation. He and mother handed over the keys to everything that they had built and moved to the mountains of north Georgia. In a season when others would retire and just look to their own desires and pursuits, my parents grabbed the handles of a plow and went back to work, pioneering yet one more church and making a difference in the lives of others. Now, less than two years from the age of eighty, they won’t quit! Dad just handed the reigns of his latest established church to a spiritual son in the faith. But he will continue on for the remainder of his days still running his race - not sitting on his laurels. Yep! I have to run hard and fast! THAT is the Barbarian Way.

In his book. McManus took his readers to the story of Elijah, who after having a pretty vigilant conquest was faced with a sense of personal failure, and went to a mountain and hid. God challenged him back to the way.

 “Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”

I Kings 19:11-12

I LOVE what God spoke to Elijah in that moment on his mountain hide-away:

“So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 

I Kings 19:13

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I believe that is “King James” for “Dude! Get your head outta the sand, quit hiding from your failures, and DO what I called you to DO! I did not call you to waste away on a mountain. I designed you with a hope and a future. DO IT!”

Now don’t misunderstand me. I am a mountain boy! I was born in the mountains of eastern Tennessee. My Papaw dug copper out of those hills as a miner. There is nothing like the beauty of the mountains. Yet you have to be careful. The solace of the mountain will kill you! It entices with its tranquility - which is not the same as peace. And, it will pull you into a permanentized, complacent slumber. The mountain is a legacy killer! It becomes a bastion of self awareness that silently leads you into self interest and self fulfillment - the self purpose of just taking care of MY desire. After a while, you start to hear banjo music! Dad, in his own testimony talks about the slumber of the mountains. He almost laid down vision. And, he began to die inside without hardly ever noticing it. Elijah’s mountain was not simply about tranquility. It was the place where he could hide from

all that he felt was wrong in his life.

It was when Elijah left his mountain and re-engaged with the world that he connected with Elisha - his legacy. He could never have positioned Elisha to go forward by calling him to the mountain to share in his ending. Elisha needed to be in the place to make the difference. And, in the end, everything that Elijah did, Elisha did double! He stood on the shoulders of Elijah and ran harder and faster. THAT is the gift of legacy.

“Don’t run to where I am. That has been achieved! Do better. DO MORE!” That is what my parents gave to me. That is what I will strive with every breath in my lungs to give to my children and grandchildren. To entice them to anything less is to invite them to share the grave of my own purpose. It has a shelf life. 

Your children - physical or spiritual - were not created to live in the cave. A cave is simply a grave that has not yet been sealed. They were created to rise beyond the cave - to use what you placed in them to go further than you could ever go. They were called to greater than you can even imagine.

Give them that. 

Give them the gift of legacy.

© 2022 - Timothy Byler - All rights reserved.

Climbing Mountains

 Timothy Byler, DRE

LIFE IS AN UPHILL BATTLE! We know the old cliché. Our parents would tell us, “When I was your age, I walked to school, through the snow, through the sleet and rain, through the mud, uphill, BOTH WAYS!” It was a jovial caution to stop complaining about your circumstances. In my case, my circumstance was getting up early and standing at the bus stop. On my kid’s case, it was having to get up early and be chauffeured to school. 

With the advantage of hindsight, I sooner or later realized that if I would simply embrace the metaphor, my parents had offered me a broader, undeniable truth - that life is an uphill battle. 

In the 90’s, there was a spiritual movement that tied our “struggle” to faith on a different way. The message that resonated from pulpits, from radios, and from televisions was a message that basically taught us, “If you are struggling, you’re not in faith!” Words cannot express how condemning that statement could be to a person who was really in a struggle. To be certain, one could not blame God for your circumstances, but under that teaching, one had to conclude that your circumstances were a direct result of not having enough faith. The struggle is REAL!

The problem wasn’t simply that message. It was also fed by an earlier doctrine. As the old spiritual song declared, “I’m climbing up the rough side of the mountain. I’m doing my best to make it in!” It was a lean toward faith but now made your success in the climb a contingency for salvation. The moral? “Don’t mess up!” No pressure and still incredibly condemnatory. But it made one thing clear: the aide of the mountain is rough!

Gospel artist Witley Phipps told of something his momma would say to him. “If the mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.” 

“If the mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.”

The video of that testimony is years old but I heard it for the first time the day before I wrote this. And, that video showing up on my social media was very clearly a  gift of God’s love and grace in a personal “uphill moment” I was experiencing. It was the sort of encouragement that a Father offers His son during the struggle. As I contemplated this simple statement, a different complexity came into my view. I had just watched an account of a person who was being led from death row to the electric chair. The director of the film led the audience through the pain of thought process of the individual as he took those long, slow steps down a corridor that seemed to extend for miles. He walked, knowing that these were the last steps he would take on the Earth and that what he was seeing with his eyes was the last thing he would see. THAT was an uphill journey. But then I considered Jesus, as He walked HIS “death walk”. He climbed a hill called Golgotha (the Greek name) or if you prefer, Calvary (the Latin name). And He didn’t simply climb the mountain. He did it after being tried, found innocent by the Roman Governor, turned over in that innocence to the Jewish leaders, beaten until the skin was torn from His body, made to drag a large wooden cross through the streets and THEN climb the mountain to he crucified. History made the outcome clear. The climb wasn’t the end of the story. The climb was the process to victory!

After my lightning strike experience in 2018, I was on a vacation and had the opportunity to scale a climbing wall. I previously had never had an urge to attempt this but in the moment, I saw it as an opportunity to “test my mettle” and challenge my recovery. They have the “easy wall” and the “challenge wall”. This is me. Bypass the easy wall and go for the challenge wall. I lasted about 2 minutes that seemed like fifteen. A third of the way up, and I fell away, lowered back to the ground by the belayer - defeated. The young lady who was tending the wall didn’t gouge me for money. Instead she saw something inside of me and said, “It’s slow right now. Let’s try something,” and put me on the beginner wall. As I scaled that wall, I didn’t change any techniques. Find a toehold and places to grip. Navigate your way through and climb to the top. Up I went, and I made it. SUCCESS! Then she said, “Okay Sir Edmund (her mocking humor comparing my recent success with mountain conquerer, Sir Edmund Hillary).” “Back to the big wall!” 

“I’m good,” I replied. “I just wanted to see if I could do it.” 

“Don’t you want to see if you can do this one?” she challenged. 

“No, I returned. “I already know that one is too much for me.”  It something in her challenge got to me. Maybe it stroked my male ego. Maybe it just pushed my button. But up I went. I made it three quarters of the way before I lost my grip and had to be lowered back to the ground. I advanced but was still defeated. She said, “See. You did good!” - Ummm, Thanks. 

The next day. I walked past the same spot and she said, “ Wanna try one more time?” After a few minutes of conversation, she talked me into it. This time I made it to the top!  The earlier climbs prepared me for the bigger climb. I knew that. We all know that. But in the moment, we tend to dismiss that. 

YOU KNOW THAT! Hold onto that thought! Life is full of uphill battles. It is full of mountains that need to be climbed. The journey on those mountains is not smooth. The mountain is rough. But, it is rough for a reason, because it is the rough places that give you the hand holds and toe holds necessary for the climb. Each of those represents a place to advance, a place to rest for a moment, get your breath and summon your strength, a place to return to if you need to reassess, and most importantly, a place from which to push onward. Success isn’t simply achieved by completing the goal. It is measured by who you become AS you complete the goal. Don’t give up. Don’t yield to discouragement. Scripture teaches us to find the value in everything. Find the value in the rough spots. They are tools to help you on to victory!

Impressions

Timothy Byler, DRE

How do you respond to a first impression? In coaching people, I challenge them to guard themselves from the urge to make snap judgements. That is a practice that tends to run contrary to human nature. More so after you have lived for a while and had life experiences. In fact, sometimes you have to consider a first impression because you will find yourself in a situation that requires a quick action or response from someone you have just encountered. Some people seem to do well at that. Others, not so much. Either way, it can get you into trouble. This happened with a recent occurrence in my life. 

A short time ago, I posted on social media a picture of my latest vehicle - my Jeep Grand Cherokee. “Simon” (I always name my vehicles) was thoughtfully purchased, chosen after numerous trips in rented GC’s, after owning several higher end vehicles, and even trading my beloved Dodge Challenger - which was incredibly painful. My reasons were simple and numerous. Simon has a mixture of all of the characteristics I routinely enjoy in my daily driver. Compared to my previous SUV’s, he is light and nimble in handling. Having the smaller V6 (I’m usually a sucker for V8) was offset by the incredible amount of torque and low end response - where 90% of my driving occurs. The V8 GC is great but the handling is heavier and even clumsier. While his tires are not sufficient for where other Jeeps can go, for the “off the beaten path” wooded trails that I am most likely to frequent, he’s perfect. And, I don’t feel like I have to use my turn signals while driving a wooded trail the way I would in the Escalade I used to drive. Simply put, Simon met the largest cross section of everything I wanted in a vehicle at this season in my life. 

As I posted the photo of Simon, I was really posting about personal joy, and how something relatively simple produced such great joy. One individual - who on numerous occasions has “highlighted the high life” by finding joy through acquisition (the more expensive, the better. I.e.; if you like the GC, you would really like the Mercedes AMG G63. Dream bigger!), immediately responded with a comment that indicated some naïveté about my personal joy. The individual used the phrase, “Reticular Activation System”, which is a psychological term that has been loosely thrown around by budding coaches to explain how the Law of Attraction works. My psychologist wife, Cindy, always warns me to refrain from throwing psychological terms around, because the moment I do, it becomes immediately apparent to many around me that I am NOT a psychologist! The RAS explanation was the “sound byte” version of what the individual was trying to convey - that I only found happiness because I was looking for happiness there. If I thought “bigger” - if I had a larger mentality - I wouldn’t settle for a Jeep. I would “believe” for the Mercedes to enter my life... and be happier. That was a pretty quick first impression… assumption.

Impressions: We see what we want to see.

There are several impressions that occurred in my story. One is that my joy was perhaps not true happiness, but joy that was limited by my own limited thinking. I was in essence told, “You only find happiness in driving a dumb Jeep because you “looked” for that happiness. You focused on it and as a result, you convinced yourself you are happy. If you had looked for more, you could find real “Mercedes” happiness.” (For the record, yes I DO understand that joy is not materialistic. It is more than pleasure. In this instance, my joy comes from what is happening in my heart as I travel, explore, power down, etc. Simon represents a rolling refuge from a sometimes chaotic world.)

Reactions about my “Simon posts” revealed many impressions. They ranged from, “Wow! what year is that?” to, “I have always loved Jeeps.” to “You have a really unique relationship with your cars.” To this one: “Your choice in vehicle and the joy you profess is really a picture of your small-minded mentality.” That may seem a lot to draw from a simple statement, but in this case, the individual has on numerous occasions expressed that exact sentiment about me in direct terms, without ever once considering my history - that in my automotive background, I have owned everything from Cadillacs, Lincoln’s, Audi’s, etc. and that perhaps I didn’t choose my Jeep from a small perspective but from a much larger one based on personal experience.

That’s human nature right there! We see what we want to see. I do believe that if my focus is on a Jeep, getting the Jeep will produce a feeling of happiness. But there is another aspect to seeing what we want to see. In business, in ministry, and in coaching or mentoring, people tend to measure others through the lenses of their own world. Personal experiences, focused training, even mental attitude often lead you to see what you want to see in another person. And, when that happens, your first impression carries within it that cocktail of personal belief. It often will have little to do with the person you are assessing.

Each of the responses to the post COULD reveal any number of meanings, ranging from “I wish I could have a Jeep.” to, “I’m glad you found a personal joy.” to, “Wow, you’re pretty materialistic”. Each assessment has little to do with my experience and more to do with the experiences of the responders. 

That is what makes impressions - and judgements - so dangerous to relationships.

What Would if Mean If “I” Said That?

The other issue with impressions is in how you measure the words and even actions of another person. We live in a world with corrupt people. Manipulators, “gas-lighters”, abusers, takers, etc., all occupy space on the planet. The more you encounter them, the easier it becomes to add their behaviors into your “impressions lens”. But the strongest measure occurs when you encounter someone who says something or acts in a manner that unsettles you. The tendency in those moments is not to measure that word or action based upon the individual. Rather, it is to measure that word or action based on what you would mean if YOU said or did what you experienced. Sometimes; perhaps even often, the results will be the same. That individual was not only being offensive, but intentionally offensive. However, if you consider the heart of the other individual, while what was said or done may have been offensive, the heart of the individual was not to cause an offense. If you can learn that, you can save yourself a LOT of pain!

My “Mercedes” individual offered a response that was pretty offensive. No one likes to be perceived as small minded. But what was the intent? This individual stays focused

on helping people grow in their mentality. That is noble. I was just measured by

that individual’s cocktail of personal belief. Knowing that 

shifted my feelings and my response in the situation.

Two lessons here: The first is to guard yourself against allowing your impressions and judgement of others to be measured by your own cocktail of personal belief. There is always more to the story than you can see. See through the eyes of the Holy Spirit rather than your own lenses. Consider Philippians 4:8-9. Choosing to find ANYTHING praiseworthy in the individual or situation will change how you handle everything! The second is to remember that others will almost always measure you through their lenses. If you consider that when you encounter conflict, it will change the way you communicate and act. There is a strength to be had when you discover that though you have the right to be offended, but you don’t have the necessity. Represent more than yourself. Represent Jesus! See like Him. Be like Him. And, His joy and peace will be with you!

T

An Open Letter about June 24, 2022

 On June 24, 2022, the Supreme Court of the United States voted to reverse Roe Vs. Wade. What happened in the aftermath was intense on all accounts. The social media outlets went full bore on both sides of the issue, as people tried to process what was happening in their hearts and in their minds. I was asked to weigh in. I did so in the following open letter. I have chosen to hold this letter until the dust of the immediate shock settles. I did this in the hope that in the aftermath of the decision, people would stop and carefully consider what I wrote, rather than skimming through it for the bullet points.

This issue touches every American life - even those who would think otherwise. You simply do not know the pastor the people who surround you. You only think you do. I encourage you to read all of this - carefully and thoughtfully. For the believer, also read it prayerfully. Because of your relationship with God, you are the ones who have the greatest capacity to offer healing in seasons such as this.

An Open Letter About June 24, 2022

Dr. Timothy Byler

June 24, 2022 was an historic day. It represented a reversal to what is perhaps one of the most divisive issues our nation has ever faced - the Supreme Court’s ruling that federalized the right of a woman to choose what happens in her body - the right of a child living and growing in a womb to live. 

That was yesterday. Yesterday was a day spent thinking…and observing. I have a wide array of friends with greatly varied political and cultural views. I am graced with a specific reach into many of their lives - not because of my silence on key issues, but because of my determination to respect others and to demonstrate love by how I communicate regarding my beliefs, and theirs. 

June 24 was an emotional day. For many, it was a day of rejoicing. For many others, it was a day of sorrow or anger. Where an individual came down in that spectrum was determined by their personal beliefs. Or was it? The problem surrounding this issue is that “belief” has been cluttered - by politics, by media, and by culture. At the root, most people see the issue as Manichean - a clearly defined duality between what they believe is right and what they believe is wrong. And at the root, you are dealing with life - 

the sanctity of life; for both a child and for a mother. 

The problem is that though the arguments from either side are trumpeted that simple,

 the surrounding beliefs are far from a simple duality. 

They are far more complex to the point that a few minutes of conversation with the average person generally reveals that those beliefs are convoluted and even conflicted. The issue of life has been used as such a political football that the definition of what people are supposed to believe has been defined, redefined, rewritten, and rebroadcast at every opportunity to gain a political advantage - by both the left and the right. The flagrant exploitation of the issue for political gain has devalued in the minds of people the root issue. Such devaluation is a travesty. An equal travesty is the wedge that was allowed to be created. That wedge divides and separates families, friends, cultures, and a nation. 

I heard from both sides of the argument on this historic day. Of the ones who have long prayed for this turn in history to occur, there was rejoicing. For those who dreaded this turn, there was sorrow and anger. The division reared its ugly head. The divisive nature of people was on full display. My friends on the right (and as I believe in the sanctity of life, I was included in this stereotypical classification) were labeled “extremist”. That is a word that is politically and culturally defined as “one who holds to a fringe belief(s) with an anarchistic mentality that promotes an agenda to wield power and the control of others.” Called into question at the beach where I did my thinking, my friend said, “Well, I didn’t mean you - just people LIKE you.” Strike a blow against inclusiveness. 

My friends on the left had it just as bad - and in my opinion, far worse. I watched in horror as some people on the right who went online crying,  “Victory! To God be the glory!” and in the next instant turned and maliciously and unabashedly railed on those who opposed their victory, posting, 

“Stop whining! You still have the right to murder your babies!” 

(Caution: Sarcasm alert.) THAT is God’s love and grace in motion right there. 

Societal culture has tried to teach the next generation of believers that they should be ashamed to be a Christian. I will NEVER be ashamed of the Gospel, nor the fact that I am a follower of Christ. But if I have ever come close, it has been in moments when those who call themselves God’s people spew rhetoric that is laced with hostile animus. If the left believes that those on the right are power hungry, right-denying extremists, and the right believes that those on the left are self-chosen murderers who do so in the name of convenience and personal satisfaction, then the reality of who we really are has dissolved in the acid of political manipulation. 

“What is MY position?” That is the question I have been asked repeatedly. I have also been asked why I refuse to engage in the social media “badminton” in the name of standing up for what is right. 

On that score, the way media has devalued our understanding of who we are has been to remove the development of our population’s beliefs from real contemplative thought (don’t THINK!). and replace it with easily digestible, microwaveable sound bytes. Some people will respond to this open letter with the comment, TLDNR (Too Long. Didn’t Read). THAT limits your education to the canned soup makers who spoon feed you - no matter what side of the aisle you stand. 

I am vocal about my position. But I am so in a manner that will allow for thought, contemplation, context, and mutual respect… particularly for those who disagree with me. Except for the religious Pharisees who acted similarly to some of the aforementioned people on the right, this is EXACTLY how Jesus handled the public. He did not approach them with a sarcastic, “Go ahead and wallow in your miserable sinful mess.” He met them where they are and offered them better, with a grace that enticed them to truth. 

My position? Life is unimpeachable.

Every beating heart is a soul - the beating heart of a child AND the beating heart of a mother carrying that child. BOTH have an investment. Sometimes - too often - that investment comes through unexpected and even malicious, evil circumstances. That does not negate the fact that a woman’s life is a life, and a child’s life is a life. 

Does life begin at conception? According to scripture, life begins BEFORE conception. In the first chapter of the book of Jeremiah, God made it clear:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you…” Jeremiah 1:5 

He did so again in the Psalms:

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my substance, 

being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me,

when as yet there were none of them.”

Psalms 139:13, 16

Even if a person is born in the direst of circumstances, every believer should understand that God has strengthened mankind to not only survive those circumstances but to overcome them and be stronger for it. Those who do not adhere to a belief in God have still witnessed and testify to the strength of the human spirit. And, they have trumpeted and drawn mentorship and strength from those who have not given up, but thrived through pain and adversity. 

A Woman’s Right to Choose: 

I believe that every person has a right to make their own decisions regarding their own individual life. Scripture has made it clear that God gave free will to mankind. Our founding Constitution clearly defines that unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to every living person. 

The first word of that is LIFE. In the moment that my freedom from turmoil or pain comes at the expense of ending another’s life, that right to freedom loses priority. EVERYONE is in agreement in that fundamental truth and the evidence is found in that if my neighbor infringes on my freedom and happiness, and I take his life and end it, I am going on trial for murder. No level of inconvenience or even pain is going to negate that life is unimpeachable. 

Unalienable Rights

Consider this statement from a publication of the Annenberg Classroom: The Annenberg Public Policy Center:  https://www.annenbergclassroom.org/glossary_term/rights-or-individual-rights/

In addition to political rights, the constitutions of democracies throughout the world protect the rights of people accused of crimes from arbitrary or abusive treatment by the government. Individuals are guaranteed due process of law in their dealings with the government. Today, constitutional democracies protect the personal and private rights of all individuals under their authority. These rights include:

• freedom of conscience or belief
• free exercise of religion
• privacy in one’s home or place of work from unwarranted or unreasonable intrusions by the government
• ownership and use of private property for personal benefit
• general freedom of expression by individuals, so long as they do not interfere with or impede unjustly the freedom or well-being of others in the community

“So long as they do not interfere with or impede UNJUSTLY the freedom or well being

of OTHERS in the community...” 

It has taken our nation a long time to iron out what the founders intended. Like the phrase, “Out of the mouths of babes…”, our founders created a document that reached depths far beyond the scope of their imagination. The level of the lives we live were not even imagined, much less invented when they penned the document, yet that document has held the foundational truths that have stood solidly through the invention of our current lives. 

A woman’s “right to choose” must consider the following truths that we hold to in every other aspect of our society. 

First: Your choice for freedom and happiness cannot be realized at the expense of killing another person. Even with regard to Capital Punishment, the individual sentenced to have his or her life terminated must first be found guilty of a crime and second, be declared mentally competent enough to have committed that crime with the ability to act with intent. A child in the womb does not have that right.

For a mother to choose to terminate the life of a child in her womb infringes upon the right of that individual child to purse happiness, liberty, and life. 

Second: The decisions of the adult are weighed differently than the decisions of the child. Whether in the womb or in the nursery, the child cannot be expected to make the same level of decision that an older person is expected to make. Regardless of your belief in God, any parent will hold their children - and any adult who violates this principle to a hard standard. That means that the parent, the more mature in the relationship has a responsibility to make the right decisions for the less mature in the relationship. In any other circumstance, the parent has a moral and even legal responsibility to do so.

Third: Is the life in the womb a life? According to Scripture, yes. According to the one who wants a child, yes. According to science, yes, there is a living being in that womb. We can hear the heart beating. If the heart quits beating, we call it dead. 

Fourth: A  artful look at all of the above demands that those who claim to hold life sacred need to do just that - hold life sacred. Pro-lifers are quick to fight for the right of an unborn child to live. They should be equally proactive in finding better ways for that child to live. Adoptions, while they still should be vetted at the highest level.should not be as difficult - or as expensive. Currently, adopting a child in the United States costs between $15,000 and $40,000. There should be more who are willing to what needs to be done to achieve betterment for a child who under other circumstances would lose his or her life in an abortion. THAT is just as important a sanctity of life issue as ending abortion.

A few days before this historic moment, I encountered my own. My son and daughter-in-love showed me sonogram images - pictures of my new grandchild at eleven weeks. They do not refer to the child as an “it” because their child is a living being. It is too early to know the child’s gender so in lieu of referring to their child as “it”, they nicknamed their child, “sprout”. I was touched because during the sonogram, my daughter-in-love became very concerned. Sprout wasn’t moving. The technician told her, “Do not worry. They rest too!” A moment later both she and my son were greatly relieved when Sprout started dancing around in the womb. I think the poetic term for the mother’s response would be, “her heart skipped a beat.” Two hearts - really three - intertwined. My son already has “Dad Shirts”. 

A pregnancy terminated in the name of justice may be just for the mother. It is not just for the child…

anymore than ending the life of an orphan or a developmentally handicapped child. 

Fourth: Is it about power? To return to the “extremist” concept, the argument has politically shifted to a determination of the “pro-lifers” agenda to control and dominate everyone. While a few errant evangelical denominations and fringe groups may feel that way, the vast majority do not. A true look at the decision made by the court actually considers this power issue. As our Constitution was written to insure freedom, our government was designed with checks and balances - to insure great limits on the Federal government’s ability to have absolute power and say with the force of the rule of law. The Executive Branch (the President) is the weakest in the trinity of government. The Legislative Branch was designed to be the voice of the people - who’s members were not brought together to promote political agendas but to represent what the individuals in their states wanted as a rule of law. The intent in both of those branches of government has shifted for the purpose of political power - on the left and on the right. 

The Judicial Branch was designed to be the arbitrator, protecting the rule of law and maintaining order that holds our founding truths - the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - to continue unimpeded by political domination. 

The left side of the social media frenzy is now touting, “It’s not about children. It is about power.” That is far more accurate than people realize. While the June 24th decision dealt with the rights of a woman and the rights of a child, it dealt more with the authority of the Federal government to superimpose its leadership - leadership that is too easily influenced by the few and the rich - upon the people of the nation. 

The court handed the responsibility of governing their people back to the States. Individuals have a far better chance to affect local and state government than they do at a federal level. I can’t get on the phone with my President. But I have sat down with my State Representative, my Congressman, and even my Senator. They heard my arguments face to face and even the ones who largely oppose my political leanings have asked me to join them in efforts that I have been able to affect.  

Keeping this issue Federal also keeps this issue in the hands of the controllers, the political lobbyists, the media “spin doctors”, and those who through social and other media outlets do the thinking for the much of the American people. 

Lastly, if the moral high ground of this issue is about the sanctity of life, that sanctity only begins with the protection of that life from death. The true sanctity of life has to consider that no one has the right to devalue the life of another. When your disagreement manifests into belittlement of another, regardless of where you stand on your belief, you undermine everything for which you say you stand. 

Life IS unimpeachable. That is a reality, scientifically and morally. Life is unfair and even cruel at times, but it is still - LIFE! You cannot simply eradicate one life to resolve the conflict of another. There has to be a better way.