Impressions

Timothy Byler, DRE

How do you respond to a first impression? In coaching people, I challenge them to guard themselves from the urge to make snap judgements. That is a practice that tends to run contrary to human nature. More so after you have lived for a while and had life experiences. In fact, sometimes you have to consider a first impression because you will find yourself in a situation that requires a quick action or response from someone you have just encountered. Some people seem to do well at that. Others, not so much. Either way, it can get you into trouble. This happened with a recent occurrence in my life. 

A short time ago, I posted on social media a picture of my latest vehicle - my Jeep Grand Cherokee. “Simon” (I always name my vehicles) was thoughtfully purchased, chosen after numerous trips in rented GC’s, after owning several higher end vehicles, and even trading my beloved Dodge Challenger - which was incredibly painful. My reasons were simple and numerous. Simon has a mixture of all of the characteristics I routinely enjoy in my daily driver. Compared to my previous SUV’s, he is light and nimble in handling. Having the smaller V6 (I’m usually a sucker for V8) was offset by the incredible amount of torque and low end response - where 90% of my driving occurs. The V8 GC is great but the handling is heavier and even clumsier. While his tires are not sufficient for where other Jeeps can go, for the “off the beaten path” wooded trails that I am most likely to frequent, he’s perfect. And, I don’t feel like I have to use my turn signals while driving a wooded trail the way I would in the Escalade I used to drive. Simply put, Simon met the largest cross section of everything I wanted in a vehicle at this season in my life. 

As I posted the photo of Simon, I was really posting about personal joy, and how something relatively simple produced such great joy. One individual - who on numerous occasions has “highlighted the high life” by finding joy through acquisition (the more expensive, the better. I.e.; if you like the GC, you would really like the Mercedes AMG G63. Dream bigger!), immediately responded with a comment that indicated some naïveté about my personal joy. The individual used the phrase, “Reticular Activation System”, which is a psychological term that has been loosely thrown around by budding coaches to explain how the Law of Attraction works. My psychologist wife, Cindy, always warns me to refrain from throwing psychological terms around, because the moment I do, it becomes immediately apparent to many around me that I am NOT a psychologist! The RAS explanation was the “sound byte” version of what the individual was trying to convey - that I only found happiness because I was looking for happiness there. If I thought “bigger” - if I had a larger mentality - I wouldn’t settle for a Jeep. I would “believe” for the Mercedes to enter my life... and be happier. That was a pretty quick first impression… assumption.

Impressions: We see what we want to see.

There are several impressions that occurred in my story. One is that my joy was perhaps not true happiness, but joy that was limited by my own limited thinking. I was in essence told, “You only find happiness in driving a dumb Jeep because you “looked” for that happiness. You focused on it and as a result, you convinced yourself you are happy. If you had looked for more, you could find real “Mercedes” happiness.” (For the record, yes I DO understand that joy is not materialistic. It is more than pleasure. In this instance, my joy comes from what is happening in my heart as I travel, explore, power down, etc. Simon represents a rolling refuge from a sometimes chaotic world.)

Reactions about my “Simon posts” revealed many impressions. They ranged from, “Wow! what year is that?” to, “I have always loved Jeeps.” to “You have a really unique relationship with your cars.” To this one: “Your choice in vehicle and the joy you profess is really a picture of your small-minded mentality.” That may seem a lot to draw from a simple statement, but in this case, the individual has on numerous occasions expressed that exact sentiment about me in direct terms, without ever once considering my history - that in my automotive background, I have owned everything from Cadillacs, Lincoln’s, Audi’s, etc. and that perhaps I didn’t choose my Jeep from a small perspective but from a much larger one based on personal experience.

That’s human nature right there! We see what we want to see. I do believe that if my focus is on a Jeep, getting the Jeep will produce a feeling of happiness. But there is another aspect to seeing what we want to see. In business, in ministry, and in coaching or mentoring, people tend to measure others through the lenses of their own world. Personal experiences, focused training, even mental attitude often lead you to see what you want to see in another person. And, when that happens, your first impression carries within it that cocktail of personal belief. It often will have little to do with the person you are assessing.

Each of the responses to the post COULD reveal any number of meanings, ranging from “I wish I could have a Jeep.” to, “I’m glad you found a personal joy.” to, “Wow, you’re pretty materialistic”. Each assessment has little to do with my experience and more to do with the experiences of the responders. 

That is what makes impressions - and judgements - so dangerous to relationships.

What Would if Mean If “I” Said That?

The other issue with impressions is in how you measure the words and even actions of another person. We live in a world with corrupt people. Manipulators, “gas-lighters”, abusers, takers, etc., all occupy space on the planet. The more you encounter them, the easier it becomes to add their behaviors into your “impressions lens”. But the strongest measure occurs when you encounter someone who says something or acts in a manner that unsettles you. The tendency in those moments is not to measure that word or action based upon the individual. Rather, it is to measure that word or action based on what you would mean if YOU said or did what you experienced. Sometimes; perhaps even often, the results will be the same. That individual was not only being offensive, but intentionally offensive. However, if you consider the heart of the other individual, while what was said or done may have been offensive, the heart of the individual was not to cause an offense. If you can learn that, you can save yourself a LOT of pain!

My “Mercedes” individual offered a response that was pretty offensive. No one likes to be perceived as small minded. But what was the intent? This individual stays focused

on helping people grow in their mentality. That is noble. I was just measured by

that individual’s cocktail of personal belief. Knowing that 

shifted my feelings and my response in the situation.

Two lessons here: The first is to guard yourself against allowing your impressions and judgement of others to be measured by your own cocktail of personal belief. There is always more to the story than you can see. See through the eyes of the Holy Spirit rather than your own lenses. Consider Philippians 4:8-9. Choosing to find ANYTHING praiseworthy in the individual or situation will change how you handle everything! The second is to remember that others will almost always measure you through their lenses. If you consider that when you encounter conflict, it will change the way you communicate and act. There is a strength to be had when you discover that though you have the right to be offended, but you don’t have the necessity. Represent more than yourself. Represent Jesus! See like Him. Be like Him. And, His joy and peace will be with you!

T

An Open Letter about June 24, 2022

 On June 24, 2022, the Supreme Court of the United States voted to reverse Roe Vs. Wade. What happened in the aftermath was intense on all accounts. The social media outlets went full bore on both sides of the issue, as people tried to process what was happening in their hearts and in their minds. I was asked to weigh in. I did so in the following open letter. I have chosen to hold this letter until the dust of the immediate shock settles. I did this in the hope that in the aftermath of the decision, people would stop and carefully consider what I wrote, rather than skimming through it for the bullet points.

This issue touches every American life - even those who would think otherwise. You simply do not know the pastor the people who surround you. You only think you do. I encourage you to read all of this - carefully and thoughtfully. For the believer, also read it prayerfully. Because of your relationship with God, you are the ones who have the greatest capacity to offer healing in seasons such as this.

An Open Letter About June 24, 2022

Dr. Timothy Byler

June 24, 2022 was an historic day. It represented a reversal to what is perhaps one of the most divisive issues our nation has ever faced - the Supreme Court’s ruling that federalized the right of a woman to choose what happens in her body - the right of a child living and growing in a womb to live. 

That was yesterday. Yesterday was a day spent thinking…and observing. I have a wide array of friends with greatly varied political and cultural views. I am graced with a specific reach into many of their lives - not because of my silence on key issues, but because of my determination to respect others and to demonstrate love by how I communicate regarding my beliefs, and theirs. 

June 24 was an emotional day. For many, it was a day of rejoicing. For many others, it was a day of sorrow or anger. Where an individual came down in that spectrum was determined by their personal beliefs. Or was it? The problem surrounding this issue is that “belief” has been cluttered - by politics, by media, and by culture. At the root, most people see the issue as Manichean - a clearly defined duality between what they believe is right and what they believe is wrong. And at the root, you are dealing with life - 

the sanctity of life; for both a child and for a mother. 

The problem is that though the arguments from either side are trumpeted that simple,

 the surrounding beliefs are far from a simple duality. 

They are far more complex to the point that a few minutes of conversation with the average person generally reveals that those beliefs are convoluted and even conflicted. The issue of life has been used as such a political football that the definition of what people are supposed to believe has been defined, redefined, rewritten, and rebroadcast at every opportunity to gain a political advantage - by both the left and the right. The flagrant exploitation of the issue for political gain has devalued in the minds of people the root issue. Such devaluation is a travesty. An equal travesty is the wedge that was allowed to be created. That wedge divides and separates families, friends, cultures, and a nation. 

I heard from both sides of the argument on this historic day. Of the ones who have long prayed for this turn in history to occur, there was rejoicing. For those who dreaded this turn, there was sorrow and anger. The division reared its ugly head. The divisive nature of people was on full display. My friends on the right (and as I believe in the sanctity of life, I was included in this stereotypical classification) were labeled “extremist”. That is a word that is politically and culturally defined as “one who holds to a fringe belief(s) with an anarchistic mentality that promotes an agenda to wield power and the control of others.” Called into question at the beach where I did my thinking, my friend said, “Well, I didn’t mean you - just people LIKE you.” Strike a blow against inclusiveness. 

My friends on the left had it just as bad - and in my opinion, far worse. I watched in horror as some people on the right who went online crying,  “Victory! To God be the glory!” and in the next instant turned and maliciously and unabashedly railed on those who opposed their victory, posting, 

“Stop whining! You still have the right to murder your babies!” 

(Caution: Sarcasm alert.) THAT is God’s love and grace in motion right there. 

Societal culture has tried to teach the next generation of believers that they should be ashamed to be a Christian. I will NEVER be ashamed of the Gospel, nor the fact that I am a follower of Christ. But if I have ever come close, it has been in moments when those who call themselves God’s people spew rhetoric that is laced with hostile animus. If the left believes that those on the right are power hungry, right-denying extremists, and the right believes that those on the left are self-chosen murderers who do so in the name of convenience and personal satisfaction, then the reality of who we really are has dissolved in the acid of political manipulation. 

“What is MY position?” That is the question I have been asked repeatedly. I have also been asked why I refuse to engage in the social media “badminton” in the name of standing up for what is right. 

On that score, the way media has devalued our understanding of who we are has been to remove the development of our population’s beliefs from real contemplative thought (don’t THINK!). and replace it with easily digestible, microwaveable sound bytes. Some people will respond to this open letter with the comment, TLDNR (Too Long. Didn’t Read). THAT limits your education to the canned soup makers who spoon feed you - no matter what side of the aisle you stand. 

I am vocal about my position. But I am so in a manner that will allow for thought, contemplation, context, and mutual respect… particularly for those who disagree with me. Except for the religious Pharisees who acted similarly to some of the aforementioned people on the right, this is EXACTLY how Jesus handled the public. He did not approach them with a sarcastic, “Go ahead and wallow in your miserable sinful mess.” He met them where they are and offered them better, with a grace that enticed them to truth. 

My position? Life is unimpeachable.

Every beating heart is a soul - the beating heart of a child AND the beating heart of a mother carrying that child. BOTH have an investment. Sometimes - too often - that investment comes through unexpected and even malicious, evil circumstances. That does not negate the fact that a woman’s life is a life, and a child’s life is a life. 

Does life begin at conception? According to scripture, life begins BEFORE conception. In the first chapter of the book of Jeremiah, God made it clear:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you…” Jeremiah 1:5 

He did so again in the Psalms:

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my substance, 

being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me,

when as yet there were none of them.”

Psalms 139:13, 16

Even if a person is born in the direst of circumstances, every believer should understand that God has strengthened mankind to not only survive those circumstances but to overcome them and be stronger for it. Those who do not adhere to a belief in God have still witnessed and testify to the strength of the human spirit. And, they have trumpeted and drawn mentorship and strength from those who have not given up, but thrived through pain and adversity. 

A Woman’s Right to Choose: 

I believe that every person has a right to make their own decisions regarding their own individual life. Scripture has made it clear that God gave free will to mankind. Our founding Constitution clearly defines that unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to every living person. 

The first word of that is LIFE. In the moment that my freedom from turmoil or pain comes at the expense of ending another’s life, that right to freedom loses priority. EVERYONE is in agreement in that fundamental truth and the evidence is found in that if my neighbor infringes on my freedom and happiness, and I take his life and end it, I am going on trial for murder. No level of inconvenience or even pain is going to negate that life is unimpeachable. 

Unalienable Rights

Consider this statement from a publication of the Annenberg Classroom: The Annenberg Public Policy Center:  https://www.annenbergclassroom.org/glossary_term/rights-or-individual-rights/

In addition to political rights, the constitutions of democracies throughout the world protect the rights of people accused of crimes from arbitrary or abusive treatment by the government. Individuals are guaranteed due process of law in their dealings with the government. Today, constitutional democracies protect the personal and private rights of all individuals under their authority. These rights include:

• freedom of conscience or belief
• free exercise of religion
• privacy in one’s home or place of work from unwarranted or unreasonable intrusions by the government
• ownership and use of private property for personal benefit
• general freedom of expression by individuals, so long as they do not interfere with or impede unjustly the freedom or well-being of others in the community

“So long as they do not interfere with or impede UNJUSTLY the freedom or well being

of OTHERS in the community...” 

It has taken our nation a long time to iron out what the founders intended. Like the phrase, “Out of the mouths of babes…”, our founders created a document that reached depths far beyond the scope of their imagination. The level of the lives we live were not even imagined, much less invented when they penned the document, yet that document has held the foundational truths that have stood solidly through the invention of our current lives. 

A woman’s “right to choose” must consider the following truths that we hold to in every other aspect of our society. 

First: Your choice for freedom and happiness cannot be realized at the expense of killing another person. Even with regard to Capital Punishment, the individual sentenced to have his or her life terminated must first be found guilty of a crime and second, be declared mentally competent enough to have committed that crime with the ability to act with intent. A child in the womb does not have that right.

For a mother to choose to terminate the life of a child in her womb infringes upon the right of that individual child to purse happiness, liberty, and life. 

Second: The decisions of the adult are weighed differently than the decisions of the child. Whether in the womb or in the nursery, the child cannot be expected to make the same level of decision that an older person is expected to make. Regardless of your belief in God, any parent will hold their children - and any adult who violates this principle to a hard standard. That means that the parent, the more mature in the relationship has a responsibility to make the right decisions for the less mature in the relationship. In any other circumstance, the parent has a moral and even legal responsibility to do so.

Third: Is the life in the womb a life? According to Scripture, yes. According to the one who wants a child, yes. According to science, yes, there is a living being in that womb. We can hear the heart beating. If the heart quits beating, we call it dead. 

Fourth: A  artful look at all of the above demands that those who claim to hold life sacred need to do just that - hold life sacred. Pro-lifers are quick to fight for the right of an unborn child to live. They should be equally proactive in finding better ways for that child to live. Adoptions, while they still should be vetted at the highest level.should not be as difficult - or as expensive. Currently, adopting a child in the United States costs between $15,000 and $40,000. There should be more who are willing to what needs to be done to achieve betterment for a child who under other circumstances would lose his or her life in an abortion. THAT is just as important a sanctity of life issue as ending abortion.

A few days before this historic moment, I encountered my own. My son and daughter-in-love showed me sonogram images - pictures of my new grandchild at eleven weeks. They do not refer to the child as an “it” because their child is a living being. It is too early to know the child’s gender so in lieu of referring to their child as “it”, they nicknamed their child, “sprout”. I was touched because during the sonogram, my daughter-in-love became very concerned. Sprout wasn’t moving. The technician told her, “Do not worry. They rest too!” A moment later both she and my son were greatly relieved when Sprout started dancing around in the womb. I think the poetic term for the mother’s response would be, “her heart skipped a beat.” Two hearts - really three - intertwined. My son already has “Dad Shirts”. 

A pregnancy terminated in the name of justice may be just for the mother. It is not just for the child…

anymore than ending the life of an orphan or a developmentally handicapped child. 

Fourth: Is it about power? To return to the “extremist” concept, the argument has politically shifted to a determination of the “pro-lifers” agenda to control and dominate everyone. While a few errant evangelical denominations and fringe groups may feel that way, the vast majority do not. A true look at the decision made by the court actually considers this power issue. As our Constitution was written to insure freedom, our government was designed with checks and balances - to insure great limits on the Federal government’s ability to have absolute power and say with the force of the rule of law. The Executive Branch (the President) is the weakest in the trinity of government. The Legislative Branch was designed to be the voice of the people - who’s members were not brought together to promote political agendas but to represent what the individuals in their states wanted as a rule of law. The intent in both of those branches of government has shifted for the purpose of political power - on the left and on the right. 

The Judicial Branch was designed to be the arbitrator, protecting the rule of law and maintaining order that holds our founding truths - the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - to continue unimpeded by political domination. 

The left side of the social media frenzy is now touting, “It’s not about children. It is about power.” That is far more accurate than people realize. While the June 24th decision dealt with the rights of a woman and the rights of a child, it dealt more with the authority of the Federal government to superimpose its leadership - leadership that is too easily influenced by the few and the rich - upon the people of the nation. 

The court handed the responsibility of governing their people back to the States. Individuals have a far better chance to affect local and state government than they do at a federal level. I can’t get on the phone with my President. But I have sat down with my State Representative, my Congressman, and even my Senator. They heard my arguments face to face and even the ones who largely oppose my political leanings have asked me to join them in efforts that I have been able to affect.  

Keeping this issue Federal also keeps this issue in the hands of the controllers, the political lobbyists, the media “spin doctors”, and those who through social and other media outlets do the thinking for the much of the American people. 

Lastly, if the moral high ground of this issue is about the sanctity of life, that sanctity only begins with the protection of that life from death. The true sanctity of life has to consider that no one has the right to devalue the life of another. When your disagreement manifests into belittlement of another, regardless of where you stand on your belief, you undermine everything for which you say you stand. 

Life IS unimpeachable. That is a reality, scientifically and morally. Life is unfair and even cruel at times, but it is still - LIFE! You cannot simply eradicate one life to resolve the conflict of another. There has to be a better way. 

The Right Strength

 ©️2022 Dr. Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

“How many times have you entered a project or engaged in a mission that seems as though it simply isn’t going to occur?” That is a depth charge question. A depth charge question is an open ended one, designed to be dropped into the waters wherein you are swirling, and when you make contact with it, it explodes and randomly exposes areas of weakness.

Often when people talk about vision and purpose, they put their best foot forward. They tend to hide the vulnerabilities. Strength beckons unto strength the way that deeps calls into deep. And face it: we like everyone to see that we are strong and have it all together, so we put our best foot forward. That is not how we sharpen one another. The benefit of being relatable in leadership is that when someone has a weakness in an area, someone else who has a strength can serve to help that individual “shore up” that

area of vulnerability. That is Biblical, by the way.

One of the greatest hindrances to progress is found in operating in the wrong strength. Sometimes the tool we use is simply not strong enough. But often, the tool is way too much for the task. By example, years ago I was playing a concert when I broke a string on my guitar. The strings are held at the bridge (the base) of the guitar by a simple plastic peg shoved into the wood. For some reason, I could not get that plastic peg to budge! There is a tool designed to work the peg free but of course, in the moment that I needed it, I managed to leave it on my work table where I had restrung the guitar the day before. In desperation, I looked and found a pair of pliers. GREAT! That will do the trick. It did. The plastic pin responded immediately and released its grip on my broken string. The plastic pin also cracked under the pressure and when I went to install the new string, the pin was now useless. I used the wrong tool and applied the wrong strength. 

There is an old eastern saying: “Don’t use a cannon to kill a mosquito.” Another example is a moment from a favorite television series, “NCIS”. Special Agent Tony DiNozzo was working with his boss, Special Agent Gibbs, on a murder investigation in a Marine unit. Tony made a statement that the “the problem with the unit was a lack of discipline.” Gibbs replied, “Or too much.” Applying too much strength is often more detrimental than not applying enough. I’ve broken lug nuts off of vehicles. I’ve scorched clothing that I was ironing by applying too much heat when I didn’t get the desired results. Each effort created more and in some cases, permanent damage. I didn’t need more strength. I needed more patience. 

Things have to happen in God’s timing. 

As I write this, I am looking out over a newly planted field in central Pennsylvania. For me this is day four. On day one, it was just freshly harrowed dirt - or so it seemed. The next morning, I looked up and there were tiny sprouts with one little leaf reaching out of the dirt. Nothing seemed to change over the next two days and ai was reminded of how patient s farmer must be in waiting for his crop to strengthen. It is in a very vulnerable stage. Birds, critters (farm term), and weather can all play a devastating role in the outcome of that harvest. This morning, on day four, I looked out and there was a green hue to the landscape. I put on my glasses and looked out and the field had come alive! It was growing all along. It just needed time. And, it needed the farmer to recognize that the timing that God placed into the seed had to be fulfilled as it was designed - in God’s strength.

Recently my friend John Amato made this observation about Abraham in the Bible. Abraham had a revelation of what God had promised and even instructed. He was to raise up a nation. That is a tall order, particularly when that started with birthing a son. Abraham was an old man who was married to an old, barren woman. They both wanted to please God and to fulfill purpose, but they could not bring themselves to find the right strength. Instead they operated in the wrong strength - their own strength. Sarah sent her handmaiden to Abraham, who impregnated her. She birthed a son named Ishmael. This is not how God had defined what was to happen. They were trying to do His will but they operated in their own strength. It was the wrong strength. To see how overpowering the wrong strength can be, one only has to look at the conflict between the descendants of these two sons THOUSANDS of years later. 

God continued his plan. Sarah became pregnant and gave birth to Isaac, just as God promised. But using the wrong strength created long term damage to the outcome.

Isaac was a product of God’s grace. Ishmael was a product of self effort.

For the believer, applying the right strength is always a lesson in God’s grace. Too often, we try to “make things happen”. We try to get the field to grow, as if the seed listens to our words. We have a responsibility to plant. And we have the responsibility to nurture, water, and protect the field. The one thing we cannot do is force the seed to do what it can only do by God’s design. Anything else is operating in your own strength. 

I have seen preachers do it in a service - trying to persuade people to respond, rather than allowing God to prick their hearts. I have seen politicians and governmental leaders of nations manipulate and “spin” the minds of people into an agenda that erupts and ultimately results in their own long term destruction. I have seen spouses, parents, kids, etc. try to force their way through relationships, often leaving a path of destruction that looks as though a tornado and come through.

In moving toward purpose, the biggest thing to remember is that God’s strength is greater - not just stronger - but better proportioned for the task. He always has the right tool for the right job! If you can remember that - and remember how much He loves you and believe in you, you can rest in the knowledge that He who started a work in you will be faithful to complete it in you. And you can know that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, and He will quicken (sharpen, stimulate, brighten, and burn more brightly - hone for the task) you!

Be patient. Apply the right amount of strength - God’s strength. At let your field grow and produce a harvest! In due season you will reap if you do not let yourself grow weary!

FORWARD!

Think Different

 ©️2022 Dr. Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

“Think Different.” This phrase became the advertisement slogan of Apple Computer Inc. in 1997. It was interesting that instead of considering what could happen if a person would expand their mind with a broader path of thought, some people attacked this major corporation’s new slogan as a grammatical error.

Thirty second grammar lesson: “Think differently would be correct if it follows the typical grammatical path of an adverb (think) being followed by an adjective (differently). However, the word different can be used as an adverb or an adjective. By example, consider this quote that was attributed to  Aman Jassal - “Read different to think differently; [the] world is already into [a] rat race.” 

(Dr. Albert P. Rayan - New Indian Express, ©️2016)

The argument caused me to think (see what I did there?). How often, when presented with something that challenges your current way of thinking, do you default to what you know, rather than allowing it for the moment to expand what you know. I am an “ol’ skool” guy. I like percolated coffee, 60’s cars, 70’s sitcoms, 80’s music, and movies from all of those eras. It is hard for me to think that the things I loved in the 90’s are now thirty years old! It is also hard for me to think that things I have always known have changed as technology, 

knowledge, and…well the world has changed. 

I will offer this by example. In the 80’s and 90’s, I worked in the automotive and transportation industry. One constant that we knew then was that if a person was replacing two tires on their car, we would instruct them to put the new tires on the front of the car - the wheels that would steer the car. It made sense. You wanted the car to be able to turn, and while you want traction from the drive wheels, you do not want the drive wheels to over-control the steering wheels. With the advent of front-wheel-drive, the rule stayed the same through the 90’s. Now, the drive tires and steering tires are on the same front wheels. 

The back tires just go along for the ride. 

One day the rules changed. The new recommendation was to put the new tires on the BACK of the car, leaving the older, more worn tires on the front of the car. That made NO sense to me. In fact, it flew in the face of everything I have been taught in the field! Upon further reflection, it did NOT oppose what I had learned on the race track, or in snowy and icy conditions. In those conditions, if you start to break traction, your natural tendency is to let off the accelerator. This was actually taught as practice in rear wheel drive cars. The back wheels decelerate, drawing the front of the car back into a modicum of control. Feather the throttle. Turn into the skid. Survive, recover and drive through it. However, in a front-wheel-drive car, if you let off of the accelerator, the FRONT wheels slow down. The back of the car does NOT! When that happens, the back of the car slides around and you go into a spin. In a front-wheel-drive car, instead of letting off, you continue to accelerate a little. The front tires keep traction and pull the rest of the car back into submission. During those years, people avoided buying front wheel drive cars because of this issue. In fact, I spent time on a skid pad with purchasers for law enforcement vehicles, trying to recover the sales contract we were about to lose because their department wrecked about a half dozen of their new Ford Taurus Interceptors in a couple of weeks. (I won BTW!)

All of this knowledge did not stop me from arguing with the person who wanted to put the two new tires I was purchasing for a friend’s vehicle on the BACK of his front-wheel-drive car. Regardless of my experience, my train of thought was stuck in what I had previously been taught and even personally recommended. Then, she (Great! some young girl is gonna educate ME about cars!) began to explain that in a skid, the back of the car will come around and spin you but if the tires with the best traction are on the trailing wheels, you have a far better chance of controlling the skid! I let my real life experiences catch up with what I was hearing and 

when I did - when I thought “different”, she was RIGHT!!! (AARRRGGHH!!!)

Steve Jobs thought different. There are certain foundational business truths. There are also certain scientific and technological truths. Both simply are what they are. Yet, Apple suffered calamity when its leaders reach beyond those bare foundational business truths to attach other “adopted” foundational truths. It led to Jobs being fired from his own company… and the systemic failure of that company. To survive, they had to bring the “different”. They had to bring back Steve Jobs. To be a leading company, not only in technology but an entity that has created a culture and a lifestyle required everyone to think different. If you can learn to do that, you can have a distinct advantage over those who are around you. And, you can shape not only what you are doing, but also impact everything that is touched by that which you are doing.

Think Different! It will not stop you from holding onto your foundational beliefs. In fact, we call them foundational beliefs for a reason. The things that are truly foundational remain so. It is only the things that are counted as foundational that really aren’t that are subject to revision. Thinking different will challenge you to reassess what you call foundational until you pare it back to what is truly foundational in God. THAT is when you truly become empowered by what He has afforded you. It is often the things that we attach to those foundational truths that hinder us the most! Jesus kept that message in front of everyone - 

especially disciples and Pharisees. 

The next time you are afforded the opportunity to have your opinion challenged, consider the challenge. You probably are not wrong in certain aspects. But, you may have missed something pertinent that would greatly alter the equation. The ability to look more broadly at something will likely reveal things that you already know, yet have never considered. It may even reveal something you simply never knew!

Remember, when God wants to help you grow, He will likely put someone in your path who will challenge you to THINK DIFFERENT!

The Heart Wins

 The Heart Wins - Dr. Timothy Byler

(c) 2022 - Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved

The measure of success is hidden in one’s daily routine. This is a powerful truth. I recently attended my nephew’s college graduation ceremony. John Maxwell was the keynote speaker. In his challenge to the graduating students, he talked about “the do” and “the did”. He often encounters people who say to him, “I want to do what you do.” His response to them is always, “Are you willing to do what I did? In order to do what I do, you will most likely have to do what I did.” He drove the point home and it went something like this:

“If you want the “DO”, you have to do the “DID”. If you won’t do the “DID”, you will never get to do the “DO”. 

If you try to do the “DO” without doing the “DID”, you won’t be able to do the “DO”. 

And, you will wind up in deep DOO-DOO!

The daily routine - it will make or break you. Investing one dedicated hour per day will offer a compound interest on what you are wanting to accomplish. But in reality, it will offer you compound interest on who you are. Maxwell drove home his main point. (It’s cool when your batter can hit two grand slam home-runs in the same ball game.)

“Work on the inside more than you work on the outside. Who you are inside 

is what brings the real value to who you are on the outside.”

You are comprised of three elements - spirit, soul, and body. Your spirit is the “pneuma” - the breath of God that gives you life and your direct connection with Him. Your body is the physical form that functions here on the Earth. Your soul is the connector. It is our mind, our will, our intellect, and our emotions. It is the part that makes you, you. It is the inside. And, it is the place where victory really happens.

All of the training in the world cannot make up for what drives you from the inside.

A confluence of events: 

In the recent Kentucky Derby, there was a bit of an upset. With 80-1 odds, long shot horse, Rich Strike won with an astounding victory.

As I said, the odds were 80-1 against any hope of this champion becoming, well a champion.  He did not have the best starting position. He was not the biggest horse. He was not the “best” horse. (He was a $30,000 horse competing against multi-million dollar horses.) 

There was a confluence of events that led to Rich Strike’s victorious run. First, Rich Strike was trained by Eric Reed, a horse trainer who has before this moment, never trained a derby winner. In fact, before this horse, Eric Reed never even had a horse in the Kentucky Derby! Second, The owners walked through a devastating personal recovery. A few years ago, they suffered a terrible barn fire and lost 23 of their prize horses. Sonny Leon rode Rich Strike to victory. This was the first time he ever rode in a derby. Prior to the Kentucky Derby, Rich Strike had seven career starts. He had three shows and one win that happened at Churchill Downs.

Rich Strike, Reed, and Leon were up against,seemingly insurmountable odds. In fact, the only reason they got to race is that another horse, Ethereal Road, scratched from the race.

The confluence? Tragedy, recovery, a fresh approach, diligent training, and a break merged into one created opportunity. Each of those events fed into the heart of those who were involved. That confluence of events led each of the players in this story to a place that created in their hearts a champion. 

And the race goes to: THE ONE WITH THE MOST HEART!

The Book of Proverbs instructs us about the heart. 

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Another translation adds clarity. “From your heart flows ALL of the issues of life.”

Training is important. Diligence and discipline is important. Gaining wisdom and knowledge is important. But hidden within the daily routine that builds strength, muscle, knowledge, and wisdom, there also has to be a diligence toward guarding your heart. It protects you when adversity tries to dismantle your dream. It protects you when well meaning voices try to dissuade you from reaching for your dream. And, in the moments when it looks as though all odds are against you, that bigger, better horses, with bigger financial backers and better training are standing at the gate with you, it helps you remember what is inside - what God has placed inside of you. The heart wins!

Breaking Negativity

Dr. Timothy Byler

© 2022 Timothy Byler - All rights reserved

The greatest battlefield you will ever encounter and the most valuable piece of land for which you will ever fight is the one square foot of real estate between your ears. Every battle is won or lost in the mind.

You are a spirit being just as you are a natural being. As such, there are things you battle in the flesh (I.e., that piece of cake or the doughnut that beckons you to feast upon their deliciousness). There are also battles in the spirit. Many do not know how to even recognize these battles because of the insight necessary to see them. In reality, these battles are usually connected and at some level, both are present simultaneously. Every spiritual battle will manifest itself in the physical realm - with temptation, frustration, or worse - fear. The playing field for those battles doesn’t usually stay to the physical side or the spiritual side. They tend to cross into the neutral zone - the mind.

You are a three part being, consisting of spirit, soul, and body. Your soul is your mind, your will, your intellect, and your emotion. The soul is where battles are fought and won. It is for this reason that negativity becomes one of the tools of the enemy. It is a subtle tool. It is often wielded from without. Someone says something to you to pull you down or to distract you. They criticize and judge, and do so in a way that will cause you to begin to question your own validity. While not always easily fought, that sort of attack is frontal and usually recognizable. You see it coming and the battle becomes one of “how do I keep myself from giving in to it?” You know deep down exactly what it is and yet, your mind somehow finds a way to validate it.

The best way to fight that sort of negativity is to hold to truth. You must remember what God has made clear concerning HIS belief in YOU! Yeah, I said that correctly. We know we believe in God. We don’t always remember that part of faith is in knowing how much He believes in us… 

so much so that He paid a premium to protect His investment!

When the negative things come at you, you have to remain focused. Focus on your vision, on your purpose, and even on your dream. The negativity is designed to take you off your game and to get you to second guess yourself. It will cause you to shift your footing, slip, slow your momentum, or even lose your way. 

That isn’t the biggest danger of negativity. The biggest danger of negativity is that after it comes from the outside, it starts working FROM the inside. Inside negativity justifies us. It validates us when we feel disrespected or devalued. It is perhaps the only weapon that can be used to penetrate you, make you feel rearmed, and continue to damage you, even as you work to wield it.

In Romans 12:17, Paul instructs us to “never repay anyone with evil for evil, but to respect what is right in the sight of everyone.” He goes on to tell us that “if possible - as much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” For a long time, my initial thought always gravitated to “Well, I tried but he isn’t making it possible!” That sort of misses the point.

Paul warns us against letting the negativity of others eat at us from the inside. Consider: if negative people around you need to come to peace before you can find YOUR peace, your peace is now subject to them. It is no longer simply dependent on God. THAT is control. That is the place where others obtain the ability to control you. And in that moment, they have not stolen the control. Rather, you have released the high ground. You let them get you.

The carnal weapon against the negativity of others is YOUR negativity. It is highly dangerous - even toxic! When you return the negativity of others with your own negativity, you relinquish your ability to be effective in the spiritual battle. You ignore your spiritual armament.  You become entrenched in a carnal battle. You will even become skilled at it and win battle after battle - never realizing that in reality, you are losing the war! 

In Matthew 16, Jesus explained this carefully. The context of His words is often missed. “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” This has been pushed specifically to how we “accomplish” in life in order to go to Heaven. But if you read through all of it, Jesus was teaching about the soul battle - the spiritual mind vs. the carnal mind. Just prior to what He said, Jesus identified the difference between seeing things spiritually and seeing things carnally. He commended Peter on his ability to see who Jesus was through spiritual eyes rather than the eyes of man, and instructed the disciples that the very foundation upon which the church would be built was that ability to see into Heaven in order to operate successfully in the Earth. A moment later, when Jesus begin to share the negative circumstances He was about to face, Peter’s defenses rose. He valiantly pledged to defend Jesus against those who would try to destroy Him but Jesus rebuked Him, saying, “Get behind Me Satan…you are not setting your mind of a God’s interests but on man’s.”

Breaking negativity starts from the inside out. 

The negativity of others will always be present. There will always be an enemy who will try to discourage you, disparage you, or destroy you. That negativity cannot stop who you are. Nor can it stop the divine purpose for which you have been appointed! YOUR willingness to pick up the weapon of negativity CAN hinder your divine purpose and stop you from being who God has designed you to be.

GUARD YOURSELF! BREAK NEGATIVITY! Limit yourself from spending time and energy with negative people. You don’t have to love them less. You may have to love them from further away. It isn’t that they will bring you down. They will feed your own toxic negativity. Second, guard yourself against being negative. Do not yield to the temptation to be negative. You are gifted with a pass to the High Road. Take it! It is a better ride. Third, draw closer to God! Praise is the best weapon against negativity. Thank God for the purpose He has written for you and for the battle that He fights on your behalf. Thank Him for the strategy to win the war, not just survive the battle.

STAY POSITIVE!

FORWARD!

New Seasons

Dr. Timothy Byler

April 13, 2022

CLEAR!!! 

Hit it again.  CLEAR!!!

It has been six years since there was even a trace of life in this blog. Life changed. It moved on and the seeming effectiveness of my efforts here had waned. Or perhaps I convinced myself of that in a fervor of ADHD boredom and simply licensed myself to move on to something new.

Much has happened in that six year window. Children married. The church we pastored went through a tremendous growth spurt. We purchased a facility to house our training center. 

And… I got hit by lightning!

A lot of things happen when you experience a lightning strike. One would think that one’s life would flash in front of their eyes. Mine did not. One second, I was standing in the backyard in the rain, wearing nothing but a worn out pair of running shorts and earnestly coaxing my dog to  respond to the call of nature. The next second, there was a CRACK! and a sound like someone was crinkling the sort of cellophane wrapper one finds enveloping a gift basket of fruit.

My next conscious moment was me, laying on the ground in a puddle of water with my dog pawing at my shoulder in an attempt to awaken me. I believe that I am safe in saying that I am the only person who’s dog “laid hands” on him and was brought back to consciousness!

That lightning strike was not the beginning of a turn for me. Rather, it was just another shot in a war declared by an enemy intent on stopping what was already birthing in me. In the months surrounding that night, we suffered some major personal losses, revamped our ministry, navigated our way through a very complex multi million dollar purchase, and did so while being thrust headlong into a world wide pandemic. 

My last blog was July 4, 2016. In August of that year, I drew a line in the sand. I made a personal decision that something had to change - completely… totally…

I told God exactly that. It has been said, 

 “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.” 

I am not certain He was laughing. More likely He was saying, “Well… now it begins.”

If things didn’t change, I wasn’t going to make it. In that year, it felt that everything I valued came under fire. Scripture talks about “that which can be shaken will be shaken”. It is easy to preach. It is not so easy to live through. We had been displaced from our home during that time, due to a flood caused by a failure of a fifteen dollar valve in a toilet. The week that the restoration of our home was complete, Hurricane Matthew unleashed on our South Georgia community and brought with it a tornado that picked up five of our neighbors pine trees and dropped them on our house. We recovered. We got through it. We found the daylight. And I got hit by lightning!

Not all trouble is trouble. That is a phrase offered to me by my dearest brother, Dana Gammill. It is a phrase that was frequently uttered by his legendary father, Herchell. It is the phrase that got me through. It turns out, there is more than one way to renovate a home! When we purchased this one, we loved the space. We loved the property. We DID NOT love the house. To say that it was dated was an understatement. The inside was circa 1975 with a few walls adorned with some less than interesting 1980’s era wallpaper. And… it did not have a porch.

One flood and one tornado later - and $170,000 in restoration repairs - and the home is finally… home. The renovations we never could have afforded were afforded for us - all brought on by the calamity of trouble. And, I was learning a lesson. Like Paul, when faced with a shipwreck, you can consider what it means to drown, or you can hold onto the knowledge that God actually WILL complete what He begins in you. You just have to wash up on the correct island!

All of this seemingly random musing actually has a point. If I had known on the front end what I and my family were going to face as we embraced the call to move forward, I don’t know that I would have been so eager to take the step. It is easy to talk about faith that moves mountains. It is less so when you are standing there as the mountain looms over you with a foreboding shadow. Yet, we are not called to live in the shadows. We are called to shine light into the darkness.

For some of you reading this, your last season has been a shadow season. Most of us have suffered tremendous losses. Family and friends who succumbed to a dreaded virus, positions of employment shifted or eliminated, business owners finding themselves at a loss to even find employees, the list goes on.

Psalm 30:5 teaches us that “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” 

The rest of what David wrote is not simply a testimony of how God will pull you through. It is also a testimony 

of how David chose to respond to the knowledge that God DOES pull us through.

Today, with this post, I activated the defibrillator. It is time, not only to hear my heartbeat, but to listen to how closely it’s rhythm aligns with the heartbeat of the Master! Sometimes the night can last six years but look up! The Sun is on the horizon!

 Dr. T