These days, it seems that respect comes at a premium. There is a difference between those who act respectful towards you and those who truly respect you. This is a principle I have labored to instill into the minds of my children. Life is full of people who will “do and say the right thing”. However, if you look long enough, you will soon discover what they really believe. After all, actions speak louder than words. Even if you are a master at measuring your words, the Bible offers a great truth concerning what you say. Matthew 12:34 teaches us that “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
Sooner or later, if your respect you demonstrate toward another person is not real, it will come out.
There is a mindset that has found root in this generation. It was
fostered on the premise, “I don’t mind you not respecting someone. I mind you doing it out loud.” I have heard that offered in school settings, from mentors to their protégés, even from employers to employees. It has lessened the notion of respect to an action offered rather than a sentiment felt. You can see the results in everything from customer service to employer employee relations.
You can especially see it in our schools –
particularly in middle school ages when
such ideas are being fostered.
Honor and respect are different. There are people for whom I have little respect. Yet, because of their position, I choose to demonstrate honor toward them. In other words, respect is still in motion, but it is tied to the position or office that person holds.
Respect is important. I work diligently to find a reason to respect those around me, even when their opinions and beliefs may run contrary to mine. I also work diligently to be respectable. After all,
respect is something that is earned.
Where I run into problems is in dealing with someone who is disrespectful. Or worse, that one who is seemingly respectful on the outside but in reality has very little respect for you.
I caution my children regarding such people. They are the ones who can bring damage. They are the ones not to trust. Their false respect is about themselves. Consider: if they really do not respect you and their respect comes out of some sort of requirement, what is in it for them. What do they need from you that would cause them to feign respect? They are the takers! They try to increase the value of their own lives by lessening the value of yours.
Such people should lose access to you. They do not believe in you. They are not really for you. Ergo, they are ultimately against you. If they tolerate you for their own end, they are not deserving of the benefit received
by being around you.
Jesus Himself gave little time to Pharisees. Because they had no respect for Him, there was little He could offer their lives anyway. He set His focus on those who were intent on pursuing something better.
Learn the lesson. Beware of those who feign respect. Limit access to anyone who has little or no respect for you. Their intent is to grow by tearing you down. More importantly, never BE that person. You are givers not takers. Look for the real value in people and find ways to foster the good in that value. Give honor to whom honor is due and find ways to genuinely respect the good that God has placed in people.
-Dad
© 2014 Timothy Byler - All Rights Reserved
